Valentine’s Day safety advice: don’t date distracted

Dating and Valentine's Day
Don't let yourself get blinded by the shiny glare of dating. Photo: Photosightfaces

LOS ANGELES, February 14, 2014 — The only thing tougher than the dating world is writing a dating column. Writers often take criticism for describing things other people are doing. Writing a dating column on Valentine’s Day is especially comforting when some single readers are especially hostile to any advice about anything from anyone.

First I was in a relationship, which forced me to stop dating other women since I valued my existence. I stopped writing about dating, since she would read the columns.

She has been out of the picture for over one month, but still there was no dating or writing about it. 

A look back at my circumstances forced me to confront why this was the case. It is difficult if not impossible for some guys to start a relationship during football season.

Women have competed with football for decades. A precious few women will entertain their men during halftime, but it is wishful thinking for most of us. Many women like to go places on Sunday. They enjoy shopping, taking walks, going hiking, or visiting friends and relatives. None of these activities have anything to do with football. 

A lengthy college relationship involved what can best be described as torture Saturdays. Every Saturday, we did things I hated. We saw chick flicks and spent hours at the mall as she tried on outfits that she would eventually return. My reward for this misery was the right to be left alone on Sundays to watch men beat each other up over an oblate spheroid.

Most of my romantic relationships began between February and May. I was bored and they were there. To be fair, they were lovely women who caught my attention because I finally came up for air a few days after the groundhog did. 

Some women like football, but many of them do not. This is the main difference between the genders. Men like doing things that are fun. Women enjoy things like opera, ballet, museums, art shows, and other things alpha males can barely force themselves to care about. 

Dating requires paying attention. Women can tell when men are distracted. We get a look in our eyes that says we would rather have our eyes gouged out than spend an evening with her parents talking about everything, anything and nothing. 

With the Super Bowl in the rear view mirror, there is finally time to admire women and their views. Oh, and of course their spectacular brains and personality. 

Distracted dating is like distracted driving. It leads to crashes. Focus is key. There is plenty of time to negotiate over what to do together every weekend. These conversations cannot begin until the first couple of dates happen.

So men, take off the blinders. No matter how much it hurts many of us, there is no football on this weekend. The NFL Network is not showing any new games until September. NFL Films documentaries can be recorded. 

Football season is over. Valentine’s Day occurs after the Super Bowl for a reason. Dating season can now begin. For the next seven months, it is time to pursue women. No excuses. 



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  • Tanya Grimsley

    This was a good read. While I am married and have been for some time, your experiences in writing made me squirm a bit, chuckle and sympathize. It also brought back many memories of dating. Thanks for the reminder!

  • Funny. True. Fitting. Perhaps you should find a date at a local sports pub. Just a thought…