Tax Day killjoy!

Tax Day, April 18th!
Tax Day, April 18th!
Tax Day, April 18th!
Tax Day, April 18th!

by Eric Golub, special to Donne Tempo Magazine

LOS ANGELES, April 18, 2011 — The left’s favorite day of the year is now here.

Of course it is three days late; Tax Day, April 15th was moved to the 18th because…  April 16 is Emancipation Day in Washington, commemorating President Abraham Lincoln’s signing of an 1862 law freeing slaves in the District of Columbia.

Because April 16 falls on Saturday this year, the D.C. holiday will be celebrated on Friday, April 15.

So on this April 18th, not 15th, Barack Obama will rob productive Americans blind and give the money to a bunch of liberal deadbeats who will then deliver him votes in 2012 by any means necessary.

His press conference the other day contained lies bordering on slander. He bashed the very tax cuts that he extended four months ago. Next he will go out on the trail and brag that he cut taxes.

It is time to cut through the fog.

Mr. Obama has never cared about deficit reduction. He wants to increase spending on his domestic priorities. His ideal budget plans are basically to cut the defense budget by as close to 100% as possible while raising taxes on the “wealthy” to a bracket also nearing 100%.

Make no mistake about it. His billionaire liberal friends will still continue to get special breaks. Friends of Barry will be fine. So basically, Mr. Obama is trying to cripple conservative Republicans financially and give the money to liberal Democrats.

This is the Chicago way.

The government needs YOUR money!
The government needs YOUR money!

So rather than allow President Obama to commit financial malpractice just to win a second term, it is time for a simplified tax day plan. Politicians from President Obama to Congress should follow five steps.

1.) Shut up. Every politician except Congressman Paul Ryan should have their mouths ductaped. They should be banned from television in the same way sports broadcasters no longer cover drunken fans who strip naked and run onto the field.

Mr. Ryan is now the leader of the free world. As an adult, he should speak. The other 534 kids and the First Toddler in Chief should be quiet since political children should be seen and not heard.

2.) Cut taxes. America needs drastic tax cuts that would make the Bush tax cuts seem minor by comparison. Slash taxes drastically. Reduce the capital gains tax to zero for anybody with less than $100,000 in stock. The Reagan tax cuts and the Bush tax cuts worked perfectly. Supply side economics works. Slash corporate and personal income tax rates. Slash harder than Freddie Krueger. Slash like a Guns n Roses guitar god. Slash like former quarterback Kordell Stewart.

Slash Baby Slash.

3.) Cut spending. Forget Mr. Obama and his scalpel. It is time for the mother of all machetes. Freezing spending at already obscene levels is criminal. Roll back all programs to 2000 levels.

That’s right. Democrats want to erase the very memory of George W. Bush.

Let’s go back to the halcyon Clinton days. Every domestic program can start at 2000 levels. It is still the same century. Think of the Democrats as the candidates on “The Biggest Loser.” They are bloated two ton slobs. Dropping to 1995 pounds will not avoid death. 200 pounds on the scale is comparatively healthy. This budget is beyond fat free dressing. It is time for budgetary stomach stapling.

Defense can be on the table, but not before every single entitlement program is rolled back. People 55 and over will be exempt because promises to them must be kept. People under 55 have a decade to prepare for reality. End all luxury items. Kill NPR and PBS. Shoot Elmo and serve him as school lunch meat.

All luxuries must either be financed by private citizens or are eliminated forever. Only necessities should survive. A good start would be saving $400,000 by making Mr. Obama’s salary based on merit.

Call all of this extremist. Call it draconian. Just don’t call it mean-spirited. Mean-spirited is liberals lying to the American people. Liberals truly believe we can spend on diamonds while earning minimum wage. Extreme draconian measures are needed to combat this spending lunacy. Welcome to austerity.

4.) Sit down. This completes the “sandwich of silence” started in step one. The bread of silence in steps one and four covers the meat of steps two and three. Politicians have done nothing to slow rates of growth, much less cut anything. People who accomplish nothing should say even less. No more speeches. Let the deeds be the words.

5.) Resign. People who have never spent a day of their lives in the private sector are trying to run it. They are running it into the ground, celebrating the road to ruin. In 2006 the Democrats seized Congress and wrecked the brilliant Bush economy. One by one, sanctimonious liberals tried to pass miserable policies while exempting themselves from the very catastrophic and completely intended consequences. They praised higher taxation while not paying taxes themselves.

If these failed people really care about America, they should get jobs in corporate America to give them an understanding of what real workers actually do.

Shut up. Cut taxes. Cut spending. Sit down. Resign.

Yet if this is not enough, one more point can and should be done in the name of compromise. It is the reversal of Obamanomics. Rather than tax people based on wealth, it should be based on ideology. Mr. Obama already does this. Now it is time to shift the money back.

Liberals favor higher taxes. Conservatives favor lower taxes. Since liberals love socialism and wealth redistribution, it is time to just take the money from the liberals and give it to the conservatives. Even the honest liberals know they will not do anything valuable with it anyway.

Rather than call this seizing assets, conservatives can just call this “investment.”

Liberals should be banned from investing in anything. Real investing means taking risks with one’s own earned money. Buying stocks and real property are investments. Oil companies and drug companies doing research and technology are actually investing. Crippling businesses is not investment. Phony environmental crackpot theories is not investment. Supporting the further decay of already failed public schools is not investment. Wrecking health care is not investment.

Liberals cannot invest because they do not believe in real investments in people. They loathe the investor class. They are the union beggar class, where stealing is investing and producing is greed.

It is time to put the adults back in charge on April 18th. Paul Ryan has offered a plan with some major positives. Barring that, just enact my five point plan.

Otherwise, let the children today know that liberals led by baby boomers were selfish spoiled brats until the very end of the country they inherited but killed off before it could be bequeathed.

Brooklyn born, Long Island raised and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian.  Read more from Eric at his TYGRRRR EXPRESS blog. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.” Eric is 100% alcohol, tobacco, drug, and liberalism free. After years of dating liberals, he has finally seen the light and now only dates Republican Jewish women. His family is pleased over this. Republican, Jewish women, you may contact Eric above.

Read more of Eric’s work at The Tygrrrr Express at the Communities at the Washington Times.

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