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Tom Brady, Gisele Bündchen’s bored husband, returns to work

Written By | Mar 13, 2022
Tom Brady in 2017

Tom Brady in 2017. Jeffrey Beall, photographer. (Image via Wikipedia entry on Brady, CC 4.0 international license)

DELRAY BEACH, Florida, March 13, 2022 — Even being married to a supermodel is boring when a guy has nothing to do. Gisele Bündchen’s husband Tom Brady binged watched enough television. He tried to mow his lawn but found out his wife had already hired someone to do that for him. Only 40 days after retiring, the New England Patriots and Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback started going bonkers at home.

Add Brady to the list of professional athletes who cannot tear themselves away from the game they love.

For true leatherheads, there is nothing to replace the narcotic that is football.

Drew Brees went into broadcasting. Peyton Manning goes around the country reliving the history of football. John Elway became a team president looking to be an owner. Deion Sanders went into coaching young kids. The late great John Madden became a coach, a broadcaster, and a video game maestro.

Brady’s predecessor Drew Bledsoe now sells wine.

Brady plays football. That is what he is wired to do.

There is nothing that compares to being a player. Michael Jordan became a legend as a basketball player. Now he has to settle for being a billionaire owner of an NBA franchise. Jordan can deny it all he wants, but he would give up being an owner to win again as a player.

Those who are sick of Brady can shut him up by beating him until he permanently quits. So far, opponents have failed to do that.

Tom Brady, who lost three Super Bowls, quits football

The main issue is not that Brady is great at what he does. The unspoken matter is that outside of football there is nothing else for him to do that will be as fulfilling. How many times can he check his kids’ homework? Does anyone expect him to attend PTA meetings? Does anyone think he has the patience to coach peewee football?

Was Brady going out of his mind at home?

He is not the first man to slowly go insane when a life of action suddenly stops. For every husband going nuts from boredom is a wife wanting her husband out of the house before she goes crazy as well.

Brady still has several retirements and unretirement to go before he approaches the level of Brett Favre or Evander Holyfield.

Everyone knows that Brady can still play football. Now we know that he, at this moment in time, is incapable of doing anything else.

Football is a narcotic, and Brady relapsed. Staying in Florida. Going back to the Buccaneers.

The NFL season starts in six months. As Brady would say, “LFG!”


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Eric Golub

Brooklyn born, Long Island raised and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Read more from Eric at his TYGRRRR EXPRESS blog. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.”