Skip to main content

NFL confirms the rumors; Katy Perry set to play Super Bowl

Written By | Nov 24, 2014

SOUTH FLORIDA, November 24, 2014 — The Super Bowl used to be about football. Now it is an entertainment extravaganza containing a few moments of sports with far too much fluff. Despite insisting that she would never “pay to play,” a woman adored by many people who never watch football may have agreed to do just that.

In a mind-bogglingly bad decision, the National Football League decided to have Katy Perry perform at the 2015 Super Bowl halftime show. The NFL gets many things right, but this is an embarrassing blunder that will result in firings the minute Perry finishes her lewd performance. Terms were not disclosed, and most Super Bowl performers do so for free. Now the NFL wants artists to pay to perform, although neither side has stated whether Perry agreed to do so. Either way, the choice of Perry is a horrendous one.

Perhaps the NFL executives are being crazy like foxes. There is always a chance that Perry will cross the line, resulting in the end of the Super Bowl halftime show forever. The halftime show is a desperate attempt to appeal to people who normally do not watch football. Its main accomplishment is to cause annoying people uninterested in football to demand silence and then return to chattering once the game itself comes back on.

The halftime show reached notoriety in 2003 when Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake detracted from a phenomenal game. The media spent so much time talking about Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction that it overshadowed a fantastic football game decided on the final play. After that halftime debacle, the NFL went out of its way to be non-controversial with its halftime show. Artists were expected to be bland, harmless and safe. Tom Petty and Paul McCartney did fine. The Black Eyed Peas took no chances.

Many people had no idea who Bruno Mars was. Then as soon as he began singing, people thought, “Oh yeah, he is the guy who sings that song.”

The NFL is under siege from scandals, some real and some imagined by activists who hate football. The last thing they want is another controversy to overshadow the game. They are better off playing an endless loop of that “Happy” song than letting Katy Perry anywhere near the world’s biggest stage. She is a crisis waiting to happen, the Queen of the nation of Trainwreckistan.

She was kicked off of Sesame Street for baring far too much cleavage in a children’s skit with Elmo.

Her brief forays into football have been disastrous. At one sports awards show, she publicly hit on avowed virgin Tim Tebow. In recent days, she hit on another football player while committing an obscene act with a corn dog.

If the NFL wants controversy, that would be different. The league is obsessed with “protecting the Shield.” Perry is about shock value for its own sake.

While the NFL avoids politics at all costs, Perry struts around in a dress with the Obama logo on it. She spouts off on every political issue, often with embarrassing results. Her brief marriage to actor Russell Brand featured commentaries on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict that were totally inappropriate.

The NFL does not discuss climate change and does not want to change the Washington Redskins name.

While the NFL has many female football fans, the majority of fans are males. They watch football to get away from people like Perry.

While Perry supporters will insist that she is a professional, there is no evidence to suggest that she has the internal mental filters to know when to stay quiet and bland.

This is a woman who has actually managed to offend both Islamists and anti-Islamists with her videos.

Every time the NFL takes a risk with their entertainment, they live to regret it. Madonna managed to behave herself for the most part. There was a drug reference, but most people did not get it. Madonna did bring rapper M.I.A. on stage though and M.I.A. bared her middle finger to the entire world.

One can only imagine Perry showing up, smoking a joint on stage, while Brand pretends to simulate injecting something into an orifice not to be shown on television. Anybody who saw what happened when Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke made a mockery of an awards show with her “twerking” might be scared to death of hiring Perry.

Katy Perry is perfectly fine for an audience of vapid screaming female teenagers. The NFL is delusional if they think these girls will stick around to watch football. Once Janet Jackson bared her breast, one particular Super Bowl party saw girls burst into giggles and guffaws. Then they all left, leaving a nearly empty room except for a couple guys who were actually there to watch football.

The NFL absolutely should try to expand its reach, but not at the price of devaluing its brand. Katy Perry is one of the absolute worst possible choices the league could have made in a year where none of the finalists were that special. Rihanna was a non-starter because people still associate her with Chris Brown. The last thing the NFL wants is to be reminded of domestic violence during the Super Bowl. Coldplay would have been fine. They are bland, inoffensive, and most people have kind of heard of them. When their music comes on, people say, “Oh, they sing that song.” They are safe.

Hiring Katy Perry is a high risk, low reward strategy. She cannot add to the game. She can only detract from it. League heads will roll if she does something phallic with a corn dog in front of over 100 million people.

Then again, she could be the final nail in the coffin of the awful entity known as a Super Bowl halftime show. If eliminating this waste of time that detracts from a football game is not the goal, then the offer to Perry to sing at this game should be retracted immediately.

Perry should not even be allowed to sing the National Anthem. Her song “Roar” was supposed to be the theme for the Cincinnati Bengals until the fans booed it and made it clear they did not want it. Football fans know what they like.

The Super Bowl is too big of a stage and the NFL is under too big of a microscope. Performing at the Superbowl at this point should require discipline, class, and good taste.

It does not need Katy Perry soiling a family friendly event with an X-rated routine by an overgrown adolescent unable to control herself on the public stage.

Eric Golub

Brooklyn born, Long Island raised and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Read more from Eric at his TYGRRRR EXPRESS blog. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.”