HONOLULU, March 19, 2017 — In an America where Republican voters see themselves increasingly pitted against an onslaught of cowards and traitors—media outlets other than Fox News, lawyers, “so-called judges,” Democrats, refugees, and more recently, Hawaiians—the latest coward and traitor seems to be one of their own: conservative firebrand Tomi Lahren.
As a guest on The View, Lahren, who had previously and pedantically called abortion “murder” as a host on The Blaze, remarked
“I’m pro-choice, and here’s why. I am a constitutional, you know, someone that loves the Constitution. I’m someone that’s for limited government. So I can’t sit here and be a hypocrite and say I’m for limited government, but I think the government should decide what women do with their bodies. I can sit here and say that, as a Republican, and I can say, you know what? I’m for limited government, so stay out of my guns, and you can stay out of my body as well.”
OK. Let’s all play stupid for a moment and selectively forget that the only reason the abortion/contraception issue is even debated by political personalities and candidates in the first place is because taxpayer dollars are involved. Marco Rubio and Elizabeth Warren don’t argue with colleagues on the floor of the Senate over yoga pants, press-on nails, and peroxide hair bleach because none of these matters of female preference are provided at taxpayer expense to women. They do, however, frequently argue over abortion and birth control because these are private choices with socialized cost to taxpayers.
Let’s also forget that anyone who has spent so much as an hour with the inside-the-Beltway media knows that pro-choice policies are really just command economics. That is to say, they are meant to limit consumption of future resources by artificially curtailing the number of new humans that enter the world. Lahren should already know all these things, given the sphere of influence she inhabits, so we won’t pursue them.
Modern conservatives remind me of the country school teacher who, when asked by a state board of education whether he thought the world was round or flat, promptly replied, “I can teach it either way!”
The fact that conservatives spend more time arguing over why Fox News is “real news” and CNN is “fake news” but suffer no cognitive dissonance over Lahren or the countless other thought leaders and elected Republicans who daily betray their purported sacred principles should tell you all you need to know about the direction in which conservatism is heading.
Lahren, preachy conservative thought leader that she is, proves once more with her flip-flop that today’s Republicans are completely disinterested in substantive policy or public administration, but are all about clickbait. Conservatism has ceased to be an intellectual movement and has become an entertainment genre.
At least Democrats still have public policy think tanks; Republicans rely on whatever their favorite TV show, talk radio host, or messianic candidate believes for the moment to be what they support or oppose. Like the ancient Egyptians who were bewitched by the false signs and wonders of Jannes and Jambres and refused to see the truth even when it was plainly before their eyes, so, too, modern conservatives have stumbled into the pattern of seeking the rewards of false prophets.
Now if you’ll all excuse me, my state is being boycotted by conservatives for daring to commit the “treasonous” Constitutional activity of right of redress, so I’ll just return to Waikiki Beach now, and wait for the next election.