LOS ANGELES, June 21, 2014 — Summer is upon us, which means it is time to bring on the hot women. It is time for the 2014 list of the Top 30 Hottest Political Women.
Brains and power are intoxicating, and can be quite lethal when beauty is added to the mix.
Politics would be better with fewer powerful bald white guys and more women. Women get things done, and look great doing it.
The list has been divided into the top ten liberals, centrists and conservatives. Age is no barrier. Hot is hot.
Some deserving women were left off of the list solely to give others a chance. Also, the woman must in some way be publicly active politically, or they lose eligibility. In 2012, Eva Longoria campaigned for President Obama. Since then she has stayed quiet, removing herself from contention.
Shannon Doherty has a lifetime beauty award. The moment she gets back into politics, she rockets to the top because she is Shannon Doherty.
Many of the women were asked in advance if they would be offended being considered for this type of list. Even liberal nominees wondered who could possibly be so hyper-sensitive. Some upper middle-class white college girls at Brandeis can answer that better. Real women, and men for that matter, like being told they are attractive.
Now America has the Top 30 Hottest Political Women of 2014.
10.) Cheri Bustos — This Illinois Congresswoman won a 2012 race after Senator Dick Durbin helped redistrict the formerly Republican area to give a Democrat a fighting chance. Despite being in Congress for almost one entire term, Ms. Bustos is one of several Illinois Democrats never accused of wrongdoing, much less indicted.
9.) Luciana Leon — This politician from Peru belongs to the American Popular Revolutionary Alliance (APRA) Party. This makes her slightly more moderate than Nancy Pelosi’s caucus. Leon was once caught up in an oil scandal because, unlike in America, her emails were recoverable.
8.) Vera Lischka — This Olympic swimmer from Austria mastered the breaststroke. Sometimes the sophomoric jokes just tell themselves.
7.) Tamara Holder/Leslie Marshall—The former is a tough, smart criminal defense attorney who argues with Sean Hannity and keeps coming back. The latter is a liberal radio host who enters the No Spin Zone and gives Bill O’Reilly a run for his money.
6.) Natalie Kaye Arazi — Like many nice Jewish girls in Los Angeles, she took a job working for non-profit entities. A prodigious fundraiser for charitable social causes, she decided to continue her path of helping her community by entering politics. On her first try, she was elected to the City Council.
5.) Congresswoman Tammy Duckworth — This second-term Illinois woman is an inspiration to everybody. An Iraq War veteran, she lost both legs and an arm in combat. She walks with prosthetic legs, and her Purple Heart is matched only by her real one.
4.) Tulsi Gabbard — This Iraq War combat veteran is part American Samoan and part Hindu. The Hawaii Congresswoman is also a Vice Chairwoman of the Democratic National Committee.
3.) Kyrsten Sinema — This woman grew up in a conservative Mormon family. Now she is a bisexual atheist Arizona Congresswoman. Isn’t everybody? She graduated high school at 16 and college at 18, making her one smart bisexual. In Congress, being smart, that is kind of different.
2.) Areej Sabbagh-Khoury — This Palestinian woman lectures on why Israel is a nakbah (catastrophe) that should cease existing. Naturally she gets her education in Israel at Tel Aviv University. She wears hiked up skirts that would get her killed in Gaza. Jewish men don’t stone Palestinian women for dressing that way, but like most men they do stare.
1.) Kathleen Kane — Pennsylvania’s first Attorney General has the beauty of Aphrodite but the ethics of Eric Holder. When she dislikes laws like those banning gay marriage, she just refuses to enforce them. This makes her a top contender for the 2016 Democratic presidential nomination should she run. She launches prosecutions of the Republican Governor but shuts down investigations into Pennsylvania Democrats. She may be hyper-partisan, but she is one sexy Roman Catholic.
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