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The woke neutering of Mr. Potato Head and America

Written By | Mar 5, 2021
Hasbro, Mr. Potato Head, Potato Head, Woke, Coke, Kimmel

WASHINGTON. He has a large head and protruding ears. And his big eyes can literally pop out of his head. But his hat is oddly smaller than his plastic noggin. Yes, he’s Hasbro’s Mr. Potato Head. And if a certain late-night comedian is right, the toy will push usurper Joe Biden out of the White House and put Donald Trump back in.

Off with his…

You may have heard that the folks at Hasbro, makers of Mr. Potato Head since 1952, decided it was time to transform the toy into a representative of our times. That is to say, make him characteristic of today’s emasculated American male.

And so, Hasbro junked Mr. Potato Head’s, well, junk.

Hasbro, Mr. Potato Head, Potato Head, Woke, Coke, Kimmel

Mr. Potato in still the 1995 Walt Disney film “Toy Story.” Screen capture.

To achieved this, they will remove “Mr.” from the plastic spud’s name and simply call him – it – “Potato Head.” Doing so, says Hasbro is a…

“… celebration of the many faces of families allowing kids to imagine and create their own Potato Head family with 2 large potato bodies, 1 small potato body, and 42 accessories. The possibilities to create your own families are endless with mixing and mashing all the parts and pieces.”

In other words, Potato Head will achieve what is impossible in nature – sexual fluidity.

Hasbro, Mr. Potato Head, Potato Head, Woke, Coke, Kimmel

Late night comedian Jimmy Kimmel. “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” screen capture.

This woke nonsense is so offensive to average Americans, comedian Jimmy Kimmel fears it threatens the already fragile and illegitimate Biden junta.

“This is how Trump gets reelected, by the way… melt down Mr. Potato Head’s private parts and throw them at the Muppets. This is his path to victory next time around.”

Woke White House Cat cancels Dr. Seuss

Woke won’t work

Hasbro’s self-destructive wokeness is the product of the left’s infiltration of corporate boardrooms across America. From Coca-Cola, Ford Motor Company and Hasbro to the agencies that produce commercials whose advertising dollars support television programs like “Jimmy Kimmel Live!”

But corporate nonsense occasionally backfires. After nearly a century, the Coca-Cola Company decided it was time for change. Its original formula, which gave Coke a 60 percent market share in 1948, dropped to 21.8 percent by 1984.

“New Coke,” they thought, would restore the soft drink company’s fabled dominance.

It didn’t.

Hasbro, Mr. Potato Head, Potato Head, Woke, Coke, Kimmel

New Coke from 1985. Coke commercial screen capture.

According to the Coca-Cola Company website:

“Calls flooded in not just to the 800-GET-COKE phone line, but Coca-Cola offices across the United States. By June 1985, the Coca-Cola Company was getting 1,500 calls a day on its consumer hotline, compared with 400 a day before the taste change. People seemed to hold any Coca-Cola employee – from security officers at our headquarters building to their neighbors who worked for Coke – personally responsible for the change… Protesters at a Coca-Cola event in downtown Atlanta… carried signs with ‘We want the real thing’ and ‘Our children will never know refreshment.’”

A mere 79 days after its launch, New Coke was no more. The buying public’s rejection forced the company to stop giving them what they clearly did not want.

And that’s the Achilles’ heel for woke corporations as well. The bottom line, the coin of the realm.

Go woke, go broke

The left’s takeover of corporate America, from Big Tech to Hasbro, has given them power to censor speech and attempt to redefine what constitutes a healthy, normal family.

The only viable way to combat this woke onslaught is to hit them in the pocketbook. To take your business elsewhere – be it a free-speech social media site or a traditional company offering wholesome toys for children.

Denying them your patronage will make their potato heads explode.


Top Image: Mr. Potato Head on ABC’s “Good Morning America.” ABC screen capture.

Steven M. Lopez

Originally from Los Angeles, Steven M. Lopez has been in the news business for more than thirty years. He made his way around the country: Arizona, the Bay Area and now resides in South Florida.