WASHINGTON, March 2, 2017 — Until Tuesday night, most Americans did not know the name Steve Beshear. And it’s also likely that most Kentuckians only vaguely recall the 73-year-old man that once served as a congressman and their governor.
After President Donald Trump delivered his triumphant State of the Union Address Tuesday night, it fell to Beshear to articulate the vision of his party in a way Hillary Clinton failed to do just a few short months ago.
Seated in a dimly-lit diner somewhere in Lexington, Kentucky, dead-eyed and eerie towns folk surrounded the casually-dressed Beshear as he looked into the camera and uttered the immortal words:
“I’m a proud Democrat. But first and foremost, I’m a proud Republican and Democrat and mostly American.”
Had I stayed to discover what else Steve Beshear is and isn’t – simultaneously in the space-time-continuum – I would surely have lost my mind and will to live.
And immigration officials might be interested to learn the true nationality of the white-haired gentleman who claimed to be only “mostly American.”
But is he mostly human?
I ask because Steve Beshear’s wild eyes, coupled with the intense sincerity with which he expresses contradictory and insane concepts was reminiscent of Marshall Applewhite, leader of the infamous Heaven’s Gate religious cult.
In fact, Beshear is a dead ringer for Applewhite.
You may recall that Applewhite believed extraterrestrials would someday come to Earth and rescue his small band of faithful followers, spiriting them away to the “kingdom of heaven” in the “mother ship.”
In 1995, Alan Hale and Thomas Bopp independently looked through their telescope eyepieces to discover an icy visitor returning to our solar system as part of its 4,000-year orbit around our sun.
Applewhite was convinced commit Hale-Bopp was in actuality the so-called mother ship.
On March 26, 1997, police discovered Applewhite and 38 of his Heaven’s Gate followers dead in a mansion situated in the upscale San Diego suburb of Rancho Santa Fe. They wore matching dark clothing and Nike sneakers.
They swallowed a lethal mixture of phenobarbital and vodka as a means to cast off the mortal coil, rendering them better recipients of alien salvation.
And like the departed members of Heaven’s Gate, Democrats have the same cultish devotion to something much bigger than themselves or their imaginations.
Big, out-of-this-world, no-boundaries government.
During Trump’s speech, Democrats conspicuously sat on their hands when he said, “My job is not to represent the world; my job is to represent the United States of America.”
For Democrats,Trump thinks too small. They believe government can reach beyond the “Moons of Nibia and round the Antares Maelstrom and Perdition’s flames.”
Like Marshall Applewhite, Democratic House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, Democratic Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer and poor, tired and confused Steve Beshear – along with the strange folks gathered in Lexington’s Dead-Eye Diner – wait for a mother ship that will never come.