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The 2015 Climate Change Cultist Convention Paris Pajama Party

Written By | Nov 30, 2015

DELRAY BEACH, Fla., Nov. 30, 2015 — The least important meeting to discuss the least important issue in our lifetimes is now upon us. Days after radical Islamists murdered more people in Paris, global leaders are meeting to discuss what many of them consider the world’s top global threat. These leaders are attending a climate change conference.

Imagine Martians coming to Earth and witnessing this. Invaders motivated by a deranged misinterpretation of a major religion are killing people. The top Earthlings are meeting to analyze a thermometer.

If the Martians were sophisticated, they would insist that the conference was satire. The top people representing the remaining seven billion inhabitants cannot seriously believe what they are saying. This has to be an excuse to sip expensive beverages and try exotic cheeses. There is no way a single unit of any currency could possibly be spent on climate change as a serious policy.

Forgive the Martians for being stunned. Many Earthlings have yet to grasp how those labeling themselves the best and brightest could be so focused on the least important issue in the history of civilization.

What if a climate scientist fell in the forest?

The ability to have a serious discussion about climate change no longer exists. That is the main contribution of the climate change zealots. Anyone who disagreed with them was labeled an anti-science imbecile uninterested in facts. Therefore, it is necessary to explain climate change zealots in their own language.

Climate change zealots are anti-science imbeciles uninterested in facts. Their entire movement is based on lies. The motives for the movement are the same for every corrupt movement. Climate change zealots care about power and money. Those pushing climate change legislation and executive action are the ones who benefit financially from those actions. Those pushing more government control for climate change are the very people who push more government control for everything. Those who disagree are free to find one specific example of a leftist movement proposing less government control.

Liars cook the books and engage in everything from data manipulation to impeding theories during the testing stage. Sometimes numbers are just made up out of thin air. The leftist slogan about 97 percent of scientists agreeing with them has been thoroughly and completely debunked. What was proven true was the discovery of science journals censoring authors who disagreed with the academic community on climate change. The liberal media is complicit.

The Church of Climate Change

The Los Angeles Times took great pride in announcing in 2014 that they would no longer accept any letters to the editor from climate change skeptics. The skeptics were compared to Holocaust deniers, since nothing contributes to a robust civilized dialogue like comparing innocent Americans to Adolf Hitler.

If drug companies rigged the tests of their newest drugs to ensure favorable outcomes, the executives would be arrested. Universities have to rig the results of climate change research because the universities risk losing grant money otherwise. Somehow this is not considered illegal among the academic community.

The question still remains. With everything going on in the world in 2015, why would any sane individual spend time at a climate change conference?

Sometimes the answer is self-evident. Narcissists engage in narcissistic behavior because they are narcissists. Climate change is a movement spurred by rich white liberals. Many of these rich white liberals are trust fund dilettantes. Others earn their money by playing make-believe for a living. This is where Hollywood celebrities come from.

To avoid being seen as the vapid, shallow creatures many of them are, these rich white leftists have to care about something.

Markets up as politicos preen at Paris ‘climate change’ confab

Curing world hunger or disease is too difficult. Attacking a concept takes no intellectual effort. Even the shallowest individuals can memorize pious scripted lines about something they cannot see, touch, feel, taste or prove. Results are irrelevant. Success is defined by intentions and caring. This makes climate change the perfect issue for those who otherwise would believe in absolutely nothing because they contribute absolutely nothing.

People who work for a living at real jobs do not care about climate change. People worrying about how to feed their families are totally uninterested in climate change. Those who disagree are free to find one single solitary reputable poll that shows the world’s people caring about climate change. Climate change is the political equivalent of a new overcoat, a fancy handbag, a Prius or a skinny puppy. Climate change is a status symbol, a new toy for bored, rich white leftists to play with.

This is why world leaders are attending the 2015 Climate Change Cult Conference Paris Pajama Party. C4P3 is like C3PO, only much more prissy. C4P3 are the world’s uncool kids convincing themselves and each other that they matter. When they are together, they are no longer the impotent metrosexual sissies unable to cope with Vladimir Putin, Bashar Assad, the Iranian mullahs, Boko Haram or ISIS. C4P3 is failed human beings trying to convince themselves that they are successes simply because they say so. They care about committing to something that they care about because they care about it.

These people are not living in the real world. Businesses are rational. They do not spend the precious resources of time and money on meetings without a purpose. They do not dedicate their main existence to what the customers despise. They take steps to keep themselves in business.

The C4P3 leaders do not live in the real world. They have access to money that they never had to earn. Like a Kennedy on a drunk driving bender, C4P3 leaders were given money from others who actually worked. For the Kennedys, it was inherited wealth. For C4P3 leaders, it was the taxes of others. Jet-setters and socialites do not worry where the money comes from. The supply is endless, and no cause is too frivolous if it leads to positive publicity, more power and, of course, more junkets.

There will always be defiant individuals who think that their very utterances make sense simply because they uttered them. Only a complete moron of epic proportions would claim that wasting time and money on environmental silliness will be a rebuke to ISIS. No lucid individual could say this with a straight face. C4P3 consists of people so noxious and obnoxious that the periodic table of elements should be updated to reflect their glorious existence. C4P3 is four parts carbon and three parts pompousness. Mixing carbon gas in a room with pompous gasbags leads to Element 119, the Ignoble Gas Leftesium.

The C4P3 attendees should just celebrate their creation of Element 119 Leftesium. That would at least be an honest scientific discovery.

Then again, that discovery took place by a political columnist typing on a keyboard in a humble middle-class home in Florida. It did not require an expensive slumber party in Paris, and it did not force anyone else to accept the conclusions.

If rich white leftists were anything other than power-hungry phonies, they would not burn fossil fuels to fly on expensive private jets to attend swanky parties in Paris. They would live the modest 17th-century lives they want the rest of us to live. They would live in mud huts powered by wind from Barack Obama and Francois Hollande speeches.

They would not spend time at C4P3 when the world’s seven billion human beings care about every other issue more than climate change.


Eric Golub

Brooklyn born, Long Island raised and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Read more from Eric at his TYGRRRR EXPRESS blog. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.”