Ferguson Turmoil: What you need to start mob violence (SATIRE)


SAN DIEGO, November 30, 2014 — Interested in advancing your cause through the wonderful world of news making violence? Would you like to also have the best of both worlds; the benefit of violence without it looking like you were personally responsible?

Well then; this is your lucky day! Following are handy, helpful tips on how to get people angry and stoke the flames of anger that already exists.

It’s not so difficult. In fact, you’d be surprised how easily this mission can be accomplished. Keeping the peace takes far more effort. Destroying the peace is simple, so long as you plan things right. Anybody can do it with a little help.

We begin by understanding that human nature is often at its worst in a group situation. There is something inherently adversarial about bringing a large group of people together in one place for a cause. True, at times it has to be done. After all, important goals need organization and the more people involved the better. And yes, speakers can talk responsibly in front of a group of people should they so desire.

However, for those who wish to engage in irresponsible speech, you will discover that many (if not most) human beings are easily influenced by strong emotional pleas and fantastic charismatic oratory skills, even when such tools have nothing to do with the truth.

You will also find that mob frenzy brings out a behavior most people would restrain if they were discussing the same subject one-on-one over a cup of coffee.

And so, when crowds assemble, exploit the assembly! Don’t use reasoning or logic. And, (very important) do not confuse  anybody with actual facts!

Read Also: Obama, illegal immigration, and the law

“How can such exploitation occur?” you ask.

Just follow the brief lessons listed below. This is good advice for all demagogues but today’s lesson keys in on the town of Ferguson, Missouri  specifically.  Our goal is to examine some very successful rioting in reaction to the Grand Jury’s recent decision to not indict officer Darren Wilson for allegations of racist and  criminal motive in the shooting of Michael Brown. Perhaps Ferguson will serve as a template for future instigators.

Lesson one:  Be sure your crowd understands their colors. To accomplish this, you need to solicit the help of clever civil rights leaders. In fact, they must be even smarter than the most famous civil rights leader of all, Rev. Martin Luther King. After all, he had the audacity to dream of a colorless society, a time when people would “not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”

King’s words are way behind the times. Today’s inspirational leaders must explain that when a white police officer shoots a black man, before we have heard all sides of the story, we automatically assume that skin color must have been the reason. On the other hand, when an unarmed white man named Dillon Taylor is shot by a police officer described as “not white”(as was reported in a much less sensationalized story in Salt Lake City, Utah) skin color has absolutely nothing to do with it!

Lesson Two: Keep repeating that Michael Brown ‘s parents will miss him. Nobody will be unsympathetic to grieving parents. Bring the parents on TV a lot. Keep talking about how much they wish their son was still alive. Never point out that even if it were proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that Michael Brown had been guilty of physically assaulting a police officer, his parents would love him and miss him no less. This would be true of any decent parents and it would always be understandable, but it says nothing about Brown’s guilt or innocence.

Lesson Three: Don’t ask the crowd to act as a group think tank by exploring why so many African-American witnesses corroborated Officer Wilson’s side of the story in front of the Grand Jury. If anybody brings that up, at a meeting, politely ask him to leave. If he stays, ask him again but impolitely this time.  If he still doesn’t leave, break something. Don’t worry, your action will be viewed as nothing more than righteous indignation.

Lesson Four: Make sure the town’s state (in this case Missouri) has a governor who only uses the National Guard if he isn’t afraid of Politically Correct responses. This way, even though a trained chimpanzee could have predicted that there would be major violence and looting if the Grand Jury failed to deliver “the right decision”  the police will not have enough man power to stop the riots. Even though the National Guard could have been available for back up the moment the police needed them, the violent looting and street vandalism will still be a smashing success. (No pun intended).

To find the perfect candidate for such reckless inaction listen carefully for that special  governor who comments about the  Brown-Wilson case early on. If you hear him  say that “a vigorous prosecution must now be pursued” then you have your man and in this case, your man is Governor Nixon.

Nixon did not call for a vigorous investigation, mind you, but prosecution.

Such words probably provided insight ahead of time as to whether Missouri’s miserable excuse for a governor would be ready with the National Guard. Agitators had a green light.  The coast was clear.

Read More: Forbidden Table Talk with Bob Siegel 

Lesson Five: It helps when our justice department is led by a man who plans ahead of time to launch his own investigation regardless of witnesses, forensic evidence, or any other factual determination. We know we have the best Attorney-General possible if he fails to visit Utah just as quickly to investigate the police shooting of an unarmed white man as he rushed to Missouri to investigate the shooting of an unarmed black man.

If Holder’s track record shows only a fleeting interest in authentic justice, so much the better. Culpability in a scandal such as Fast and Furious, is a good sign that you found the right man. We might also want the kind of guy who seems uninterested in pursuing (with any real enthusiasm) an IRS that cherry picks which organizations with whom to grant non profit status.

Lesson Six: After the first night of plundering and pillaging, bring in spokespeople who will offer obligatory speeches which condemn the violence but in the same breath remind our country that while such acts are unjustified, we should at least try to understand the anger underneath and how it was percolating for a long time due to America’s racist heritage.

Lesson Seven: In that same vein, help people to ignore any progress America has made in race relations such as the abolishment of slavery, the abolishment of Jim Crow laws, affirmative action, African American Secretaries -of State, African American Supreme Court Justices, and (oh yes, almost forgot) an African American President of the United States.

Lesson Eight: Speaking of the President, I can’t imagine anything more helpful than for him to give a speech about how it isn’t his place to comment on the situation in Ferguson and then comment anyway.

Lesson Nine: Do not be too particular about your allies. Welcome them regardless of their agendas. Those who take advantage of the situation by looting stores will help your cause because it will keep you on the news. These allies are a dime a dozen. Now they can steal that I Pad  they wanted  or grab a free box of Hostess Cupcakes with a clear conscience. They’re just doing it for Michael Brown, not because they are evil thugs with swinish behavior.

Lesson Ten: Throw in something about how Israel is related to the problem. This will sustain the cause, enable the protests to spread all over the country, and solicit the help of people who might not know Ferguson, Missouri from Mayberry RFD: A good example can be found in Seattle, Washington, where the ‘Palestine Solidarity Committee’ marched with a banner that said, “Occupation is a crime, Ferguson to Palestine, Resist U.S. Racism, Boycott Israel, Stand Up!”

It never hurts to toss Jews into the mix and draw the passionate anti-Semites into your cause. The irony of stoking one type of racism in order to (allegedly) fight another kind of racism will be lost on the pea brains.

Those are the tips. Before we adjourn for the day, I leave one last suggestion of a different nature.

How to reverse this process and turn public opinion AGAINST Ferguson riots, even bringing in people who never follow the news and therefore have had  no opinion up to now:

Suggest a blockade of shopping malls on Black Friday so that customers cannot get into their favorite stores.That should do it.

This is Bob Siegel, making the obvious, obvious.

Bob Siegel is a weekend radio talk show host on KCBQ and columnist. Details of his show can be found at www.bobsiegel.net.

Note: A Fox News story dated November 29, did talk about a Salt Lake City protest against police brutality in general, including the shooting of Dillon Taylor. Renewed interest in Dillon Taylor over the Internet might  garner some attention from the Justice-Department  through public pressure. My article is talking about Holder’s double standard when the incidents first occurred.

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Bob Siegel
A graduate of Denver Seminary and San Jose State University, Bob Siegel is a radio talk show host and popular guest speaker at churches and college campuses across the country, using a variety of media including, seminars, formal debates, outdoor open forums, and one man drama presentations. In addition to his own weekly radio show (KCBQ 1170, San Diego) Bob has been a guest on many other programs, including The 700 Club, Washington Times Radio's Inside the Story, The Rick Amato Show, KUSI Television's Good Morning San Diego, and the world popular Jonathan Parkradio drama series, for which Bob guest starred in two episodes and wrote one episode, The Clue From Ninevah. In addition to CDN, Bob is a regular contributor for San Diego Rostra. Bob does a good deal of playwriting as well (14 plays & 5 collaborations), including the award winning, Eternal Reach. Bob has also published books of both fiction and non-fiction including; I'd Like to Believe In Jesus, But...and a fantasy novel, The Dangerous Christmas Ornament.
  • Bernie Marra

    Great article. Tells it exactly like it is. Refreshing to hear a voice of reason in an otherwise atmosphere of hateful rhetoric.

  • Wolfeman

    For whatever reason, deranged democrats constantly attack our Constitution and our Bill of Rights.

  • nicksharky

    Another great article by Bob Siegel. It’s a pleasure to read a fact-based comment presented with originality and a great sense of humor.

    • Bob Siegel

      Hi Nick! I haven’t heard from you in a long time! Hope you are doing well!