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Republicans and Democrats boldly vow to stick to principles in non-election years

Written By | Feb 12, 2014

WASHINGTON, February 12, 2014 — In a rare moment of unity, Republicans and Democrats boldly vowed to stick to their core principles in non-election years.

As long as there was no chance of facing immediate wrath from voters, members of both parties vowed to do what is right. During election years, acting on principle would be bottled up in committees until after the election.

In recent days, this commitment to bravery unless it became politically dangerous was on full display.

For Democrats, the Affordable Care Act has become an albatross around their necks. President Obama signed Obamacare into law in 2010, but made sure that the most toxic provisions of the law were delayed until after he was reelected in 2012. Since the law passed, Obama has unilaterally amended the law 28 times without the constitutional authority to do so.

Aspects of the law which were supposed to go into effect in October of 2014 have been delayed until 2015 so as not to swallow up Democrats in the 2014 midterm elections. Now other parts of the law are being delayed until 2017 so that Hillary Clinton can devote her entire presidential campaign to covering up Benghazi.

President Obama has insisted that he would never play politics with such a serious issue, and that he is tweaking the law, smoothing out the rough edges, and helping businesses make for an easier transition. These euphemisms are code for trying to take a broken-down, boarded-up house in the Bronx and raking up a few leaves in front of it.

The ACA is in a full state of collapse, but Obama imitates Baghdad Bob in declaring everything on the verge of being fine just before political armageddon.

Republicans are no better. Their pusillanimous behavior regarding the debt ceiling is every bit as grating. After insisting they would ensure Obama did not receive a blank check to spend America into bankruptcy, the GOP gave him his open-ended credit card. Obama will continue to act like a teenage mallrat at Bloomingdales. He said he could do whatever he wanted, and thanks to gutless Republicans, he can. The GOP knows that raising the debt ceiling is bad policy. They also know that they are in a prime position to win big in the 2014 elections. Anything that could interfere with this goal must be shelved.

After the 2014 elections, the GOP will hold off on meaningful action until they win the White House in 2016. Then in 2017, if they control everything, the GOP will be afraid of losing their power. They will continue to roll over quicker than Beethoven.

While the political gutlessness is bipartisan, the reasons for it are where the two major parties diverge.

With Republicans, the problem is one of marketing. The Republican Party is the worst marketed product in America.

Around 90% of reporters vote for Democrats in a nation split down the middle. These reporters simply hate the GOP’s guts, especially on social issues. In their world, the left is the mainstream center, the center is the right, and the right is deemed extreme.

Republicans went from being the party of Ronald Reagan the Great Communicator to a bunch of lily-livered apologists. They grovel and beg the liberal media to like them between bouts of imitating Charlie Brown trying to kick the football. If only Republicans would abandon everything they believe in, media liberals would promise to like them and not kick them in the teeth when they try to win an election against a liberal Democrat.

George W. Bush knew the media hated him, and he governed above, over and around them. He won reelection by standing firm on his beliefs. When he left and took his steel spine to his ranch, the GOP body developed scoliosis.

The Democrats have a bigger problem. Despite having 90% of reporters on their side and total control of the government for Obama’s first two years, they still could not advance many of their beliefs.

Liberals have spent millions of dollars on Obamacare in one of the largest marketing campaigns ever seen. Obamacare has been marketed more frequently than an auto insurance Gekko drinking a Coca-Cola and eating a Big Mac while on a Sandals vacation. Excruciatingly embarrassing promotional videos played on homosexual stereotypes, saw Richard Simmons contort himself into unnatural positions, involved talking animals, gave the world metrosexual Pajamaboy, encouraged teenage binge drinking and promiscuity, and saw an Obama clone attempt rap music that made Vanilla Ice seem hardcore.

With Democrats refusing to be seen in the same room with Obama without being given a Hasmat suit, their problem runs deeper. Republicans are afraid to market sound policies because they are terrible marketers. Democrats just have terrible policies.

Barack Obama has not had a single policy success because he belongs to an ideology that has failed every single place it has ever been tried at every time in history it was attempted.

Whenever liberalism is given a chance, Americans are reminded that liberals are not good at anything that matters. When asked to give actual examples of their successes, liberals redefine the word so that every failure actually is a success if one analyzes intentions rather than results.

Republicans are too scared and clueless to explain why they are right. Democrats are too worthless to try something different and stop being wrong.

Why should anybody respect Democrats when they are bad at everything?

Why should anybody respect Republicans when they give in to people who are bad at everything?

The result is failure. At least after the 2014 elections both sides will attempt to govern for a few weeks before election 2016 begins. 


Eric Golub

Brooklyn born, Long Island raised and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Read more from Eric at his TYGRRRR EXPRESS blog. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.”