WASHINGTON, DC: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez announces today that she is throwing her hat into the ring. When asked about it, she replied, “Uh, I don’t often wear a hat, but yeah… I guess.”
When reporters pressed her about her motivation for running, she said,
“Well, all my friends are doing it and I don’t want to miss out on the fun! Besides, now that I’m in charge and I’m the boss, I might as well make it official.”
What would the Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Presidential agenda be? “It’s obvious our President Trump has no interest in the environment, and that’s what I am all about,” she offered.
“It’s high time we abandon blue states and red states and just have all green states. No more drilling fracking or farting, we’ll just have solar and wind energy. That’s what I’ll do as President.”
“To help with this conversion to green energy,” she continued, “I will establish the National Socialist Car Company. Its purpose will be to build cars that run only on solar and wind energy.”
“Every citizen will work at the NSCC and every citizen will receive one of these cars, which will end unemployment and end our dependence on fossil fuels forever.”