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New Year’s Eve 2015 with Lil Jon and Brian Schatz

Written By | Dec 31, 2015

LOS ANGELES, December 31, 2015—In Gotham City, 2016 commences with the dropping of the ball in Times Square.

A small North Carolina town called Braselton offers the dropping of the possum.

Of all the global celebrations welcoming the end of 2015, nothing says New Year’s Eve like a rap star and a mostly unknown politico.

The rapper is long-haired, gold-toothed entrepreneur and Celebrity Apprentice semi-finalist Lil Jon. Dave Chapelle lampooned him as the guy who only says “what” and “ok.”




Lil Jon brought the world one of the greatest party songs,

A celebration of alcohol and fun, plenty of shots will be consumed as 2015 ticks down.

While this celebrity is established, the senior United States Senator from Hawaii is still fairly early in his political career. With the passing of Senator Daniel Inouye, former Governor Hawaii Neil Abercrombie sent his second in command to Washington in 2012 as the next Senator from Hawaii. The former Lieutenant Governor Schatz in 2014 won election to his first full Senate term.

The Senator’s name is Brian Schatz, although his last name is pronounced “shots.”

The U.S. Senate has long been about partying, alcohol, and law-breaking inbetween occasional bouts of governing. Therefore, the upper chamber of Congress should treat Schatz as a celebrity. Let Lil Jon do the swearing-in ceremony as the Republican Party and the Democrat Party continue to spend like drunken sailors at a never-ending New Year’s Eve Party.

Happy New Year Schatzie! Party time!

“When I arrive on the Hill, all eyes on me.

In the Democrat Party, all drinks are free.

We’re drunken spenders, we’re so far gone.
It’s free money time, so come on down!

Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!



Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!

The ladies love us, when we give free stuff,

From contraception, to other needless fluff,

We’re drunk on power, how ‘bout you?
Bottoms up, let’s go round two

Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!

Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!

If you ain’t drunk on power, get out of Congress now!

If you ain’t drunk on power, get out of the White House now!

If you ain’t drunk on power, get out of government now!

Now where are my spendaholics? Printing presses go!

Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!”

Party hearty, Senator Schatz! Greece, California, and Detroit are only a few trillion wasted dollars away!

Let’s party! What??????

Happy 2016! Ok!!!!!!!!

Eric Golub

Brooklyn born, Long Island raised and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Read more from Eric at his TYGRRRR EXPRESS blog. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.”