New Year’s Eve 2013: Lil Jon and a Hawaii congressional rap video

As the world prepares to greet 2014, let's celebrate New Year's 2013 with rapper Lil Jon and a Hawaii congressional rap video.

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LOS ANGELES, December 31, 2013 — Some rituals deserve to last forever. In New York, 2014 begins with the dropping of the ball. In a small North Carolina town, the dropping of the possum is the ritual. But nothing says New Year’s Eve like a rap star and a barely noticeable politico.

The rapper is long-haired, gold-toothed entrepreneur and Celebrity Apprentice semi-finalist Lil Jon, nee Jonathan Smith. Dave Chapelle lampooned him as the guy who only says “what” and “ok.” Yet Lil Jon also brought the world one of the greatest party songs, “Shots.” A celebration of alcohol and fun, plenty of shots will be consumed as 2013 ticks down.

While his celebrity is established, a United States Senator from Hawaii is barely beginning this phase of his political career. The man who replaced the late Senator Daniel Inouye is Brian Schatz, although his last name is pronounced “shots.”

The U.S. Senate has long been about partying, alcohol, and law-breaking inbetween occasional bouts of governing. Therefore, the upper chamber of Congress welcomed him as the newest celebrity. Let Lil Jon be the Master of Ceremonies as the Republican Party and the Democratic Party continue to spend like drunken sailors at a never-ending New Year’s Party.


Happy New Year Schatzie!

“When I arrive on the Hill, all eyes on me.
In the Democratic party, all drinks are free.
We’re drunken spenders, we’re so far gone.
It’s fiscal cliff time, so jump on down!

Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!

Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!

The ladies love us, when we give free stuff
From contraception, to other needless fluff
We’re drunk on power, how ‘bout you?
Bottoms up, let’s go round two

Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!

Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!

If you ain’t drunk on power, get out of Congress
If you ain’t drunk on power, get out of the White House
If you ain’t cliff diving, get out of government
Now where are my spendaholics? Printing presses go!

Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!”

To everyone worried about fiscal cliffs, debt ceilings, government shutdowns and Obamacare failures, fear not. Those worries were so 2013. So let’s get this party blowing up like Iran once they get the bomb. End of Days was pushed back on the Mayan Calendar from December 21st, 2012 to 2014 or later. New Year’s will not hurt one bit.

Party on Senator Schatz! Greece, California, and Detroit are only a few trillion wasted dollars away!

Congressman, please put your pants on. Put down the intern and the ukelele and remove the lampshade. Sir, no more Jello shots tonight. Sir, please do not text that to Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. Play it safer than Carlos Danger.

Let’s party! What??????

Happy 2014! Ok!!!!!!!!

 

Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.” Eric is 100% alcohol, tobacco, drug, and liberalism free. Follow Eric on Twitter @TYGRRRREXPRESS

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