TALLAHASSEE, Fla., Nov. 13, 2015 — The University of Missouri is slowly burning itself to the ground in the great tradition of Ferguson protesters. As cold and calculating as it sounds, this is one time for conservatives to just sit back with a bag of potato chips and soda and watch the carnage. Conservatives long ago surrendered the universities.
If leftists wish to burn down their own institutions, so be it.
For those who forgot where the latest round of pre-planned agitation disguised as civil disobedience started, a young black man named Michael Brown tried to kill a white police officer in Ferguson, Missouri. The officer defended himself. Black leftist activists immediately screamed racism.
Their solution was to burn down their own neighborhood stores.
White liberal Gov. Jay Nixon played his stereotypical role to perfection by demanding police restraint and giving legitimacy to a new violent group calling itself Black Lives Matter.
Michael Brown supporters claimed that he yelled, “Hands up, don’t shoot.” The evidence showed that this never happened. He was the aggressor and not the victim. The predictable liberal response was to say that the lies were immaterial because they gave attention to the overall issue of racism.
This is as nonsensical as fake campus rape claims being a net positive for drawing attention to the issue of campus rape. Hoaxes hurt us all and benefit only those seeking to exploit hoaxes for personal gain. College has now become one giant hoax. The campuses are often the location for the merry psychotic pranksters.
In recent days, the Missouri football team decided to become social justice warriors rather than just play football. They threatened to boycott their upcoming game unless the university’s chancellor resigned. His crime was for not saying or doing enough to combat alleged acts of racism on campus.
The fact that no evidence of the alleged events existed was immaterial.
The students protested, and the chancellor quit. He also apologized, because white liberals reflexively do that.
The typical conservative lament is that the inmates are running the asylum. Students are taking over the universities, which have placed agitation over education. Conservatives need to stop the lamentation and start the celebration. Liberals own the universities. Let them destroy the universities.
With no conservatives left to harass, leftists have turned inward. Let them eat their own. College campus cannibalism is cool for conservatives. Those on the right should demand that the leftists go even further.
Take the insanity to its politically correct illogical conclusions.
Declare the Mizzou football team a bunch of bigoted homophobes. After all, they kicked gay star player Michael Sam off of the team just because he graduated. Forget that he was not actually kicked off the team. He just graduated. Forget that his being gay is totally irrelevant to the discussion. Facts no longer matter. Feelings are now hurt.
Social justice warriors must demand that Sam be replaced with another gay player.
In fact, every college football team should be shut down until the number of gay football players equals the percentage of gays in society. To make up for slavery, half of the gay players must also be black.
To ease the pain of the kids picked last in elementary school, only players who are awful at football should be allowed on the team. They can all then get trophies made out of eco-friendly non-styrofoam and hemp.
No justice, no peace! Gay black football lives matter!
As for demanding that schools hire more conservative Republicans, that would be like asking white liberal chancellors to invite blacks into their neighborhood golf clubs or Thursday night poker games. In both cases, they may not know any.
Abraham Lincoln would be so proud. After fighting a bloody Civil War to preserve the union and end slavery, leftist blacks with help from guilty white liberals are now fighting for segregation. Campus safe zones separate the students from what “South Park” creators Trey Parker and Matt stone describe as the evil villain named Reality.
The world has not gone mad. Leftists have.
Conservatives should celebrate the destruction of the leftist college model. If students want to protest, they don’t need to rack up $100,000 in debt just to earn a piece of paper that renders them useless and unemployable. Ferguson rioters protested for free.
Conservatives must not lose sleep over white liberal chancellors quitting their jobs. Cowards get what they deserve. Leftists devouring each other is nature taking its course. Who are environmentally friendly Republicans to argue with nature?
Conservatives will be fine. We have guns. We also have cojones. We don’t tolerate violent protesters. For the billionth time, there is no constitutional right to violent protest. Every spineless liberal who gets swallowed up by political correctness gets what he or she deserves.
Let the universities explode into flames. Entrepreneurs can build shopping malls in their place and hire the college professors. University chancellors can work at Foot Locker and help BLM & Occupy protesters buy $300 sneakers while demanding a raise to $15 an hour to afford the sneakers. Provosts can be hired as soon as employers learn what if anything a provost is and does.
Burn, Ivy League, Burn. You did it to yourselves.
Now to sit back and wait for imported Syrian refugees to try and decapitate a couple of liberal arts professors as the students plead for calm, tolerance and understanding in the name of diversity, multiculturalism and social justice.