DES MOINES, Iowa, January 26, 2016 — Former Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley is a rounding error in the polls, and sinking.
O’Malley’s two Democratic opponents are both well over 65 years of age. O’Malley is a youthful 53, and at Simpson College in Indianola, Iowa, he summoned his inner teenager. He may consider himself a serious presidential candidate, but his appeal to the students was the equivalent of hanging out, drinking beer, and play video games.
The only thing left for him to do was channel Will Ferrell in “Old School” and go streaking through the quad.
If ever there were a justification for raising the voting age to 30 (with a military exemption), this event was it. O’Malley did everything but channel Whitney Houston and croon, “I believe the children are the future.”
O’Malley showed up in a pair of jeans. He stood on a chair because somebody must have told him that cool kids do that. The college students found his remarks substantive, which only shows how vapid many students are today.
O’Malley is offering free stuff to everyone and amnesty for illegal immigrants. He said that immigrants built this country, neglecting to say that prior waves of immigrants wanted to be American. They did not plot to blow America to Kingdom Come.
O’Malley promised debt-free college for every American family. He did not say how he would pay for it.
O’Malley is obsessed with climate change, but not with radical Islam, which he doggedly refused to mention.
He vowed to cut gun deaths in half, again not saying how he would do this. He cited his experience as the Mayor of Baltimore and the Governor of Maryland. Baltimore has exploded in racial violence and leads the nation in gun deaths, despite some of the strictest gun control laws in the nation.
P.T. Barnum would have loved O’Malley’s audience. O’Malley had gravitas in their eyes because college students actually believe that his issues matter. When it was time for the lemmings to ask questions, they kept their bubble wrap firmly in place to avoid any realistic ideas from penetrating their skulls.
One student wanted to know how to stop deaths in the Congo and other places around the world. O’Malley responded with liberal buzzword bingo, invoking multi-polarity, diplomacy and sustainable development.
When asked about how to reduce the federal judiciary crisis, he said he will make the judiciary more efficient.
He spoke of uniting people and producing results. This brought the only truly impressive moment of his speech.
“Republicans are not our enemies,” he said. Republicans are our neighbors, and should be treated with dignity and respect. Nobody could ever picture Hillary Clinton saying that with a straight face, so O’Malley deserves credit.
Then he returned to his audition to be the next host of the Daily Show. Only Jon Stewart could love this kind of progressive smugness.
O’Malley prefers the Statue of Liberty, not a barbed wire fence.
On climate change, O’Malley pompously intoned, “I believe in science and I believe in math.” This same man then claimed that President Barack Obama reduced the deficit. O’Malley was hoping that the students were too stupid to know the difference between the deficit and the debt. Obama has racked up mountains of debt. The debt is still still increasing, and this year it is expected to increase by $250 billion more than the actual deficit, which is also expected to rise above last year’s level. The students in the room seemed to validate the theory that liberals will believe anything a liberal says.
O’Malley blamed the Iraq War and Wall Street for the mountains of debt.
He wants to raise the marginal income tax rate to 45 percent from 39 percent and raise the capital gains rate to ordinary income levels. These are liberal talking points.
Then came the obligatory filibuster from an aging white leftist revolutionary in the audience. Her question about racial profiling turned into rambling nonsense.
“I don’t fear Muslims. I fear haters.” She mentioned “white domestic terrorists” as the lily-white audience nodded in approval.
On mental health issues, O’Malley offered the typical leftist answer of more federal government power and control. He specifically said that dealing with mental illness treatment allows too much responsibility to the states. More federal control is needed.
He insisted that the death penalty does not work and is not a deterrent, which we should just accept simply because he says so.
At the end of this event, he went full metrosexual beta male. He broke out a guitar and began a sing-a-long. “Iowa, Iowa” was the chant he led. This may have been the least masculine moment in the history of any male campaigning for president. While Boko Haram and ISIS are beheading people, Reuben Kincaid O’Malley was appealing to America’s stoners and slackers to celebrate their inner Partridge Family.
Afterward, he was asked about the anti-Israel hostility on college campuses and among the American left. He supports a two-state solution and has a personal affinity for Israel. Yet he also had one thing that would help the Israelis and Palestinians. Both sides would benefit from sustainable development.
This is where normal Americans beat their head against a wall until his words make sense.
Martin O’Malley is a thoroughly decent man. He is also an upper-class white liberal who found the perfect audience of white liberals who hate themselves. They checked their white privilege at the door and their sanity somewhere else. They truly wanted to hear about climate change and not radical Islam.
They hate the one-percenters, which is who O’Malley and many of these young college kids are. One percent is also what O’Malley is expected to receive in the Iowa Caucus.
When 99% of the Democrat vote goes to Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders, expect these college kids to be shocked. After all, they understand math and science. The numbers would have to be wrong. Otherwise, many people disagree with them, making them less than an accurate representation of America. That is simply not possible.
Next week in the interest of diversity and multiculturalism, Simpson College could ask Syrian refugees to scream at the college students and threaten to decapitate them. The students would most likely thank the Islamists and cheerfully ask them to strum a guitar and caucus for O’Malley.