PHOENIX, Ariz., February 8, 2016 — At a campaign rally for Hillary Clinton, Madeleine Albright said, “There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help each other.”
Albright made clear that if you’re a woman and you don’t vote for Hillary Clinton, you’re going to hell, but not just regular hell. If you vote for Bernie Sanders over Clinton, there is a special place in hell for you. (I would argue that a vote for either Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders leads to the same hellish place.)
For those in need of directions, I’ve saved you the trouble. I just found “special place in hell” on Google Maps. As luck would have it, it’s right next to the Clinton wing.
That “special place” must have filled up fast after Clinton’s last campaign in 2008. So fast, in fact, that they had to annex much more property in hell just to account for the influx. Given the current state of her campaign, hell’s developers are feverishly looking to add additional space.
It says something about a campaign that is running neck and neck with a 74 year-old socialist that it has to bring in someone even older than Bernie Sanders—Albright is 78, and old for her age—to appeal to young females.
Forget that Clinton wants not Sanders’ brand of socialism for the country, but her own brand. Forget that she talks to Wall Street big shots more often than she talks to her husband. Bill has no objection to this, as long as she keeps pulling in six-figure speaking fees.
Forget that Hillary has less credibility than Bernie Madoff. Forget that the FBI is watching her more closely than vultures watch a dying corpse. (At the risk of going to hell, I’d say that could be an apt metaphor for Hillary’s campaign.) All you need to know is that she is, you know, a woman.
If you believe Gloria Steinem, the Sanders campaign is some kind of chick magnet. How else to explain Steinem’s view of women’s reaction to Sanders campaign: “And when you’re young, you’re thinking, you know, ‘Where are the boys?’ The boys are with Bernie.”
If you’re a young woman and a recent graduate from, say, Oberlin, Columbia or UC Berkeley, why wouldn’t you be attracted to Sanders? He’s just like all of your professors. It’s like being in college all over again. “Hey, let’s have a shot every time Hillary mentions that she’s a woman. We’ll be drunk off our butts all spring!”
So, ladies, you have your marching orders. Ignore the issues and which candidate promises what to whom. Ignore the establishment vs. outsider conflict and forget emails and exorbitant speaking fees and Benghazi. All you have to know is that Hillary is a woman.
If you don’t ignore all of that and vote for Bernie Sanders, to quote Warren Zevon, “There’s a train leaving nightly called ‘When all is said is done’,” and it’s headed for that special place in hell. Leave the overcoat, you won’t need it.