Luck of the Irish? Top 10 next moves for McFired Andrew McCabe
DELRAY BEACH, FLORIDA, March 17, 2018 – Just hours before the daylight savings clock struck St. Patrick’s Day, Andrew McCabe’s luck ran out. He was McFired. Attorney General Jeff Sessions accepted the recommendation from the Department of Justice Office of Personal Responsibility to oust the fired Andrew McCabe. McCabe was acting FBI director following the firing of James Comey.
McCabe’s offense is lying to the FBI. Especially relevant to the tale is that is a crime McCabe has prosecuted others for.
Will McCabe claim Trump Derangement Syndrome as a defense?
McCabe’s deeper error in judgment was his secret attempt to try to overthrow the legally elected 2016 Trump administration.
Rather than accept Donald Trump victory, McCabe and others plotted to sabotage Trump’s candidacy in favor of Hillary Clinton. When that failed, McCabe and others plotted to overturn the election.
Consequently, McCabe has vowed to take ‘everyone’ down with him.
This could be bad news for the new Axis of Weasel filled with the most noteworthy John Brennan, James Clapper and James Comey.
If McCabe can stay out of jail, he will still need to do something with his life. Here is a list of ten new careers for the career FBI agent denied.
Top 10 potential career moves for Andrew McCabe.
1) Get a boob job, become Stormy Daniels —
He can sue the government to pay for his sex reassignment surgery. A liberal judge in Seattle or San San Francisco would happily oblige. Once he alleges that he had an affair with Trump, he will become the darling face of the #MeToo movement.
Trump’s evangelical Christian base would not react well to reports of Trump having a gay adulterous affair.
2) Deuce Bigalow, FBI Gigolo —
McCabe has already prostituted himself politically, so he may as well get compensated for it. Given that lobbyists are seen in such low-esteem, McCabe would be better off going the full Adam Sandler and just man-whoring. At $10 a pop, he will need to sleep with 70,000 women to raise the money for his liberal wife’s next failed campaign. He may need to start now.
3) Become a gay Muslim —
This will make McCabe beyond reproach. No matter what he does, he can blame homophobia and Islamophobia. He can be the leader of the new intersectionality movement, where hating Trump is the only requirement.
4) Broward County Sheriff —
McCabe’s combination of job failure, refusal to admit fault, and moral cowardice make him a perfect replacement for Scott Israel.
5) United Airlines flight attendant —
McCabe helped destroy human lives from Michael Flynn to Paul Manafort, but they are only human. McCabe never killed a dog. For those who value animals over people, McCabe would be fine.
6) FBI informant —
McCabe knows FBI procedures, having repeatedly violated them. He can secretly offer evidence against Clapper, Comey, Brennan, and even Eric Holder and Hillary Clinton. If he testifies publicly, Mrs. Clinton may call Vladimir Putin and tell Putin to handle things. If McCabe wants to live, public testimony is not a wise move.
7) Terry McAulliffe personal assistant —
The Virginia Governor needs somebody to fetch his laundry and bags of campaign cash. McAuliffe gave McCabe’s wife $700k. Now it is time for McAuliffe to collect. Nothing says st. Patrick’s Day like a McCabe to McCauliffe transferring of the green unmarked bills.
8) CNN or MSNBC contributor —
This is too obvious. CNN already hired John Brennan for his expertise in hating Trump. Since hatred of Trump is the only qualification to work at these networks, , McCabe should go there now before Clapper beats him to it.
9) Hair Club for Men spokesmodel —
McCabe’s ethics may be totally missing, but the man has perfect hair. He could be the company’s after picture, with Brennan and Clapper being the before pictures. This could be unethical, but again, that is not a concern for McCabe.
10) Mayor of Chicago —
This is one job where total failure and a completely corrupt nature are prerequisites rather than obstacles. Homicides are sky high in the Windy City. McCabe could avoid being accountable to the voters by maintaining the status quo. The Rahm Emanuel tradition of failing to keep them safe has worked politically.
Betsy Woodruff at the Daily Beast reports that the former deputy FBI director has hired attorney Michael Bromwich of the Bromwich Group to represent him. The Associated Press is reporting that the recently ousted former FBI Deputy Director, who took over as director of the bureau after James Comey firing, is saying he has personal memos on President Donald Trump.
Political lines are being drawn.
The Justice Department Inspector General Michael Horowitz says McCabe inappropriately allowed two top officials to speak to reporters in 2016. McCabe told reporters about his decision to open a case into the Clinton Foundation.
At question is how the FBI and Justice Department handled themselves during the 2016 presidential election. Did they collude to derail the 45th President of the United State?
But that is not why McCabe was fired. McCabe allegedly spun lies regarding his authorization during an interview with the months-long probe.
Which is why the FBI suggests firing McCabe. And A.G. Jeff Sessions has acted on that acceptance saying:
“The FBI expects every employee to adhere to the highest standards of honesty, integrity, and accountability. As the OPR proposal stated, ‘all FBI employees know that lacking candor under oath results in dismissal and that our integrity is our brand.”
Given reports of the memos, McCabe’s statement, and his decision to lawyer up, the battle over his firing is just beginning.