WASHINGTON, January 6, 2015 – When your presidential campaign loses traction with the press, your rallies only attract crowds in the hundreds, the FBI investigates your illegal handling of top secret government information, and your history of intimidation toward the victims of your sexual-harassing husband suddenly become “fair game” on the campaign trail, what’s a Democratic presidential frontrunner to do?
You talk about aliens.
Not those flooding across our southern border, but extraterrestrial visitors from a galaxy far, far away.
According to New Hampshire’s Conway Daily Sun, Hillary Clinton promised to get to the bottom of the goings-on at Area 51 and whether little green men are visiting our little blue planet.
What Hillary is saying, ironically, is that her husband is a liar.
Back in 1994 and again in 1997, the Clinton administration released two reports: One concerned the famous Roswell, New Mexico, incident, in which an alien spacecraft is said to have crashed in 1947, and the second concerned stories that alien bodies recovered from the crash site are stored at the U.S. government’s top secret facility in Nevada’s Area 51.
The first report said debris found at Roswell were remnants of the U.S. Army’s Project Mogul, high-altitude balloons carrying sensors to detect Soviet atomic tests.
The second report said the so-called “alien bodies” were no more than dummies used in high-altitude parachute tests.
When ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel recently asked former President Bill Clinton if he ever used the power of his office to uncover the truth about UFOs, Clinton said he had his “people go look at the records on Area 51 to make sure there was no alien down there” and also “had all the Roswell papers reviewed.”
Zip, nada, nothing. No recovered flying saucers or aliens.
But he did say, “We know from our fancy telescopes that, just in the last two years, more than 20 planets have been identified outside our solar system that seem to be far away from their suns and dense enough that they might be able to support some form of life. So, it makes it increasingly less likely that we’re alone.”
Wife Hillary says that as our new president, she’ll reveal the truth about extraterrestrial life that her husband has concealed for more than 20 years.
“Yes,” she told New Hampshirites, “I’m going to get to the bottom of it.”
Here’s a question for voters to ponder this election season: Do you trust the shrill, insulting and short-tempered Hillary Clinton to interact safely with representatives of a technologically advanced alien species?
One that could possibly be, or turn hostile? Particularly when provoked by a shrill, insulting and short-tempered Hillary Clinton?