WASHINGTON: The left is known for having unrealistic expectations. Historically, that’s only natural for those who believe that a magical utopia is actually achievable. You’ve probably seen these wild-eyed magicians dragged kicking and screaming from the confirmation hearings.
Their screaming meanie spells calling for the ouster of the Dark Lord’s Brett Kavanaugh.
We believe in Magic
These enchanted disrupters are committed to stopping us muggles from getting our country back and believe such antics will cast a Harry Potter-like spell of rejection in the susceptible minds of lawmakers.
Thirteen groups representing these drooling Squibs dashed off a letter expressing their deep disappointment with Senate Democrats over their inability to thwart the judicial ambitions of Trump Tower’s Dark Lord Brett Kavanaugh.
Warding off “hate”
They fear the Dark Lord’s Brett Kavanaugh will “help institutionalize… hate for a generation.”
And what is that “hate”?
“He [Kavanaugh] will end women’s access to abortion, decimate Obamacare, supercharge voter suppression and gut the EPA.”
The Muggle’s Revenge
In other words, Kavanaugh will practice judicial restraint. Thus allowing us muggles to decide, through the electoral process, the controversial issues of our time:
- The legality of abortion.
- Who controls our health care.
- Combatting voter fraud.
- And whether the government’s environmental zealots should hold sway over private property and the actions of job-creating industry.
Magic vs. logic
But the letter also shows magical thinking is anathema to logic:
“Your strategy to sacrifice the Supreme Court in order to hold Democratic Senate seats is not only strategically and morally wrong, it will fail. It is wrong to assume that a no vote on Kavanaugh puts red-state Democrats in electoral peril or somehow protects them from Republican attacks.”
The absurd antics of Democrats since Trump’s election as president has ensured the GOP will gain Senate seats in this year’s midterm elections.
Therefore they will be securing an even easier confirmation process when the Dark Lord nominates a replacement for the eventually late Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Move toward the light, dear.
The Democrat Wizards of Witlessness Counter-Spell
The wizards of witlessness also issued a veiled threat to the Senate’s Democratic leaders. Saying failure to defeat the undefeatable nomination of the Dark Lord’s Brett Kavanaugh will lead to the election of:
“candidates who will stand up for the people Trump threatens, not ones who compromise or cower as he and Republicans run the table in Congress and the courts.”
So far, these numbskulled necromancers have conjured up the likes of Bernie Sanders and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez as saviors of the nation. Persons whose wild, burning eyes look deep into crystal balls and see a future where socialism actually works. Where is Peter Pettigrew when they need him?
For the Democratic Party’s Harry Potter wannabes, the Dark Lord’s Brett Kavanaugh certain confirmation to sit on the US Supreme Court is causing considerable weeping and gnashing of teeth. However, they should take heart by listening to the sage advice once offered by the spectacled headmaster of Hogwarts, Professor Albus Dumbledore:
“It does not do well to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”
Top Images: Photo illustration of President Trump as Lord Voldemort,
still from Harry Potter. Inset of Brett Kavanaugh, CBS News screen capture.