Happy Cows come from California, or at least they used to – Bessie is moving to Texas


LOS ANGELES, February 20, 2014 – Just ten years after renowned television ads from the California Milk Advisory Board showed cows standing in a field musing about how much happier heifers were in sunny California, ‘ol Bessie is packing up and moo’ving to Texas (sorry, couldn’t resist).   

With California suffering its worst drought in more than 160 years on record, desperate ranchers are struggling to grow enough grass to feed their herds of cows, and according to Santa Barbara’s NoozHawk.com site ranchers are selling their herds of cattle to Texas.  This is proof that the out-migration of Californians doesn’t only apply to Silicon Valley high-tech entrepreneurs but also to other evolving species seeking to survive.

Yet here is the utterly ridiculous part: Democrats including President Obama – who visited Fresno just last week – are taking a page from Al Gore and blaming the Golden State’s drought on “climate change.”  But as in most politics, the truth is almost stranger than fiction.

After four years of fighting over water distribution in this vast State, Governor Jerry Brown’s appointed State water board shut down waterways this month to the central part of California – where waterways flowed into the farmlands of a region that once served as the “breadbasket to the world.” This means that farmers who once depended on water from the North are forced to forgo water that would have normally gone to irrigate their fields, and would have normally gone to grow grass which feeds cows, which produce milk and beef. The full circle of life.

Democrats lawmakers claim the reason for the water shutdown is to support their Northern California environmentalists’ claims that a 4-inch minnow in Northern California is vital to the fishing community, despite unconvincing evidence. This leaves the ranching community be damned and rightfully so, suggest the elites; after all, compared to San Francisco Bay Area fishermen those ranchers are just a bunch of “hicks” that vote for Republicans, right?

Now, chances are if you’re east of the Rocky Mountains you probably haven’t heard about this fight over water – nor would you normally care – except now it stands to impact your already-skyrocketing grocery prices as well as your beef prices. For the rest of America, this is about to become a food fight of gargantuan proportions.

I believe there is a larger story behind this fight which involves a Democrat effort to quash the Central Valley which is among the last of politically “red” parts of this very blue state. You see, if you can strangle a region by robbing them of water, you can effectively kill the economy, close businesses that have historically supported entire (that’s right, republican) communities, and force small businessmen, ranchers and their families to relocate to other states – you know, to those red states where they belong.  It’s a reverse dust bowl, of sorts, except this one is forced by the hand of big government more so than Mother Nature. One has to wonder if this DeBlasio-style punishment is retribution for decades of Central Valley votes for republicans. After all, more nearly one-fourth of all of the registered Republicans in California reside in the Central Valley, according to the Public Polling Institute of California (PPIC).

Anyone wanting a primer on the complex issue of California’s water battles can certainly read more here and click through a variety of links: I can tell you as someone who has witnessed the decline since 2009 when the water was first turned off here, California’s drought has far more interesting political subtext and more plot twists than Kevin Spacey’s “House of Cards.” Its cast of characters include real-life State Legislators in California’s all-powerful Democrat caucus, to Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi who pushed the initial Federal order to shut down the water, to U.S. Senator Dianne Feinstein who refuses to really weigh in on the issue, all the way up to the White House and President Barack Obama himself. All of whom are progressives seemingly in cahoots to send the only remaining ‘red meat’ in California packing to other states.

Just one question remains: now that “happy cows” are being shipped off to other States, one has to wonder: where will all of the once-happy people go?

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Jennifer Kerns
Jennifer Kerns is a writer/journalist and a GOP Media Strategist in the Western States region. She has served as Spokeswoman for the first-ever Colorado Recall elections, defeating the Democratic National Committee and New York mayor Michael Bloomberg’s Mayors against Illegal Guns (MAIG) PAC in a battleground state. She previously served as Spokeswoman for the California Republican Party, a political appointee of Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, and the Spokeswoman for the historic Prop. 8 campaign. An aggressive communicator, she strongly advocates that conservatives work proactively with the Media, and she is the only Republican Press Secretary to have ever won 52 unanimous newspaper endorsements for her candidates including liberal publications such as The San Francisco Chronicle, The Los Angeles Times, and the Spanish-language La Opinion.
  • louise

    Democraps really suck! Are you tired of politics as usual? Vote only for Tea Party compliant candidates. No more Demos or RINO Republicrats.

  • stormykitteh

    The next big bubble – Food. Kalifornian Dems have figured out it is not drugs nor guns that control a population. It is food and water. The environmentalist groups have long been suspected as fronts to control energy, agriculture and use of natural resources – controlling access to these products controls the population. Watch what happens to the prices of vegetables (vegans won’t escape), dairy products (esp. Kalifornia cheese), poultry and meat. Bet there’s folks out there right now laying down $1,000 in food futures guaranteed to increase to $150,000 over the next year…