Golub: A reasonable gun control compromise for everybody


LOS ANGELES, March 21, 2011 — It is time for compromise.

Let’s all come together and unite on gun control. President Obama has decided to try to rescue his failing presidency and reputation for laziness by actually “doing something.”

Unfortunately his something is the wrong thing.

When a pot-smoking reader of the Communist Manifesto shot Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, Obama did not ban left-wing books or move in any way to enforce more vigorously laws against drugs that are already illegal.

He does not want to alienate drug users.

Most gun owners did not vote for Obama, so submitting more gun control legislation is almost risk-free for him. If it causes Democrats in moderate areas to lose their jobs, he will be fine. He really has taken “to thine own self be true” to stratospheric levels.

Conservatives need not panic. Obama is merely floating trial balloons because he wants to talk about anything other than his record. While he is a leftist on gun control, he has shown zero inclination to fight for his beliefs beyond the big three of healthcare, education, and energy/environment.

With a Republican House, gun control is dead on arrival. Conservatives should guard against complacency, but there is no need to panic on this one. There will be no gun control legislation, and the issue will soon be forgotten.

Until then, why can’t we all just, to quote leftist union thugs trying to divide us, “come together?”

It is high time for a gun control compromise that will satisfy the philosophies of people across the ideological spectrum. Since liberals favor gun control and conservatives are against it, just take away all the guns from the liberals. Everyone wins, and if there is ever a conflict like the 2000 election that we cannot resolve peacefully, the right will win; we will have all the guns.

This could lead to fantastic policy developments.

Liberals favor higher taxes and conservatives favor lower taxes. If the left likes socialism and wealth redistribution so much, splendid. Take money from the left and give it to the right. If they try to stop us, remember the first bullet point.

Evan Sayet brilliantly points out that certain reasonable restrictions on guns should exist. “Nobody should own a gun if they are found to have a criminal record, a psychiatric record, or a Barbra Streisand record,” he says.

Let’s for once be honest about the issue. Even conservatives who oppose gun control have to admit that they are nervous about the idea of liberals owning guns.

Would you want violent SEIU or moveon.org protesters owning guns? Should Wisconsin protesters screaming about Hitler and Ghadafi running their government have guns? They are at war with conservative governors. These governors do not need extra security because of 80 year-old tea party ladies in wheelchairs with knitting apparel.

Would you want Jeremiah Wright owning guns? His church upstairs is already a few pews short of a full congregation.

Would you want Ward Churchill owning guns? There may not be any barriers to the mentally deranged becoming schoolteachers, but the firearms industry should actually have standards.

Would you want liberals in Congress owning guns? Some of these lefties are one violent outburst away from their own heads exploding. With nuclear explosions and meltdowns being in the news, those wanting to keep firearms away from nuclear reactors should not let such weapons be anywhere near Andy Weiner or Barney Frank.

The only reason the Supreme Court successfully and barely blocked Al Gore from stealing the George W. Bush presidency was because those threatening death to the conservatives on the court were unable to carry out their desires.

The only thing saving American society from total breakdown is the fact that angry violent leftists have not gotten beyond the horse and buggy stage with regards to weapons. They can throw rocks and bring their AFL-CIO billy clubs like in the good old mob days, but firehoses are effective enough when necessary to handle that.

Even tear gas could be a problem if leftists had guns.

Conservatives did bring guns to the tea parties, and they kept them at their waists. Yet this exposes the problem with gun control from the start. Attempts to punish law abiding responsible citizens will just reward the criminals.

In looking at the goal of gun laws, it should be to punish the irresponsible while leaving the responsible people alone.

Irresponsible people are those who violate the law, whether it be conducting illegal strikes, handing out fake medical sick notes, or vandalizing government buildings. Since these people are criminals, it is perfectly fair to keep guns away from them since petty crimes do lead to bigger crimes.

So let’s all unite and support President Obama in his quest for more gun control. As with every other bill he has signed, the unintended consequences will be interesting to watch.

Conservatives want to be free and provide liberty for everybody. Liberals want to permanently silence conservatives and then regulate us all to death. Right now the left hates guns, and anybody in a street fight knows that the sword actually is mightier than the pen.

Outside of the Jayson Blair Times, this is common knowledge.

So let’s all come together and unite. Ban liberals from owning guns. They don’t need them, can’t be trusted with them, and as with most other issues, have no understanding of them or the Constitution, that allows the rest of us to have them.

Brooklyn born, Long Island raised and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Read more from Eric at his TYGRRRR EXPRESS blog. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.” Eric is 100% alcohol, tobacco, drug, and liberalism free. After years of dating liberals, he has finally seen the light and now only dates Republican Jewish women. His family is pleased over this. Republican, Jewish women, you may contact Eric above.

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