WASHINGTON: “Brothers and sisters! We are gathered here today to lay our beloved Elijah Cummings to rest. However, we must not let his work die with him. We must learn from his life’s work and continue his legacy.
We must gain political power.
We must use that power to target political opponents. Making sure that anyone who disagrees with our vision has their civil rights violated. The Department of Justice must become the Department of Vengeance. The IRS will shut down businesses of those who disagree with us.
We must arrest the opposing criminals. If they have not committed a crime, we must frame them for crimes and let our media friends help in the coverup. (Deep State insurance policies, the press and Intelligence Community coups)
We cannot be complacent while people exist who see the world differently from us progressives.
We must continue to raise money. Molotov cocktails do not pay for themselves. Riots do not start themselves. Children do not indoctrinate themselves. Advertising campaigns to blame others for our failures do not pay for themselves.
This all requires money and power so that we can pursue more money and power.
Brothers and sisters, say it with me! Black liberals good! Orange man bad! Black liberals good! Orange man bad! Black liberals good! Orange man bad!”
This concludes MSNBC and CNN’s unbiased coverage of Elijah Cummings’s funeral.
We will now return to shouting at the top of our lungs that Trump is Hitler and suppressing our freedoms.