Election 2020: The Veep, the Peep, and all the Dang Sheep
Joe (pronounced Jo) Biden (pronounced Bye-DEN) and Kamala (pronounce Comma-La) Harris (pronounced Hare isssss) launched their campaign (pronounce Kam -Pain) this week (pronounced weak). Biden, who probably doesn’t remember his own name said Harris, who doesn’t use her husband’s name, Emhoff. Which is pronounced M Hof–the second “f “ being silent. But she apparently doesn’t give an “f” since she doesn’t use it. Nevertheless, Harris or Emhoff, was the “moderate” black woman he wanted.
Kamala (Comma-la) has two stepchildren whom she insists call her “Momala” (pronounced as a child would, whatever). Does Kamala Harris Have Children? Meet The VP Candidate’s Family
She had no known children with Willie Brown, though, apparently, they did the bow and fiddle dance over several years. Despite Brown’s wife giving up her rights to the bow. But Willie (pronounced Will-ee) Brown could only promise her the San Francisco Mayor’s house and Biden (BYE DEN) promises Washington (pronounce Wash een tun) D. C. (pronounced Dee Cee) White House. Kamala Harris & Willie Brown: 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know | Heavy.com
Biden who speaks randomly and sporadically, through a mask (pronounced massssk) chose her as a running mate on the basis of something only he knows. However what Joe (Jo) says and what Joe (Jo) knows don’t necessarily match up these days. For example, Joe (Jo) may think he’s at a Zoom meeting when he is actually in Shanghai—or vice versa.
Isn’t Joe Biden Racist For Mispronouncing ‘Kamala’?
You see, it matters because Will-ee (his former Honor of San Fran) said Kamala (Comma-la) is “used goods.” And we assume Will-ee would know. But Joe (Jo), having studied Confucius on his various taxpayer (pronounced TAX PAYER) paid junkets apparently learned that famous far-eastern short-western proverb; “Hell hath no fury like a woman (pronounced WHOA MAN) scorned.”
“The point of all of this is just to say we’re watching and we’ve got her back,” Christina Reynolds, vice president of communications at Emily’s List, told “Good Morning America.”
Translation: If anyone be nasty-ing our “used goods” gal us feminists rangers will kick yo a** (pronounced, “kick yo a**”).
This is a true bucking bronco moment even for mentally-challenged Joe (Jo).
Even he knows that when these combat-tested warrior-etts say they got your back, it means they hope to get something back. If Joe don’t hop when the Democrat ladies (Squad) say hop, he will have dropped the bridle and be hanging on to the horn. When a cowboy gets in that predicament he going to land on his a**(pronounced a**).
So, just to be safe he picked Kamala (Comma-la) who said she had smoked dope (pronounced DO-PA) but hadn’t.
But she did chase a bunch of juvie homeboys into prison for taking a toke and taste while listening to Snoop (pronounced Snue-Pa) Doggy (pronounced Dog-ee). This is, of course, the same “musician” she claimed to have listened to several years before he had recorded what she had heard.
But that is why Joe (Jo) likes her.
Joe got that same transcendental (pronounced like a flying dentist’s office) Confucius wisdom that he got while taking bribes over in that far eastern land.
But now all is set for the great debates. The Republican nominees, Donald Trump and Mike Pence. Or perhaps in a come from behind surprise (pronounced Sir Prize), Bill Kristol and John Kasich: two other transcendental masters of Confucianism—or confusion-ism.
But whomever (pronounced hoom ever) the Democrats will have, the cognitive cannibal and the cannabis wannabe, Joe (Jo) and Kamala (Comma-la) to brighten the debate stage.
Hell, the Democrats may drop the mail-in idea and opt for a mail-out attempt. (get it?)
And don’t forget, if Joe (Jo) and Kamala (Comma-la) win, the first executive order (jointly by first guy/gal presidential combo) will be to rename the WHITE House the Black Lives Matter House.
Is this a great country or what?
Paul Yarbrough writes novels, short stories, poetry, and essays. His first novel. Mississippi Cotton is a Kindle bestseller.