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Election 2016: It’s “Normal” vs “Basket Case” America

Written By | Sep 4, 2015

WASHINGTON, Sept. 5, 2015 – Pollsters and pundits will spend every waking minute pontificating about whether the 2016 presidential election is about soccer moms, NASCAR dads, hope and change or making America great again. If Republicans are intelligent, they will stop acting like Charlie Brown trying to kick the football.

The election 2016 meme has already been written.

Election 2016, above anything else, is about the battle between Normal America and Basket Case America.

The names change, but this storyline has been run before. Richard Nixon won a close 1968 election against Hubert Humphrey. Humphrey was the last of the normal Democrats for a long time to come.

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From FDR to JFK through Humphrey, Democrats acted sane. They favored a muscular foreign policy. FDR was against public sector unions and retaliated forcefully after Pearl Harbor. JFK stared down U.S.S.R. President Nikita Kruschev and favored supply-side tax cuts.

In 1972, Democrats allowed the basket cases to hijack their apparatus for choosing nominees. McGovern lost 49 states. Briefly interrupted by the Watergate blip, Democrats would soon face landslide election losses in 1980, 1984 and 1988.

Ronald Reagan was proud to be American. Michael Dukakis did not feel it was necessary to say the Pledge of Allegiance.

Bill Clinton dragged the left kicking and screaming into normalcy. Even when his successors ran in 2000, 2004 and 2008, they desperately hid their liberalism to win. Barack Obama won twice against opponents who were scared to criticize him for fear of being called racist.

The Obama anomaly notwithstanding, Democrats have decided to let the basket cases out of the closet. As long as Republicans can show that they would bring a return to normalcy, they will be richly rewarded.

So how does one become normal?

If you dislike sports, be quiet about it. 

Normal America likes watching football and other sports. Basket Case America is taking physical education out of schools because Little Jimmy may scrape his knee playing during gym or recess. Boys played “kill the guy with the ball” for decades. No actual boys were killed. Most of them turned into men.

America has a metrosexual president who cannot bowl, play basketball or throw a baseball. Russia’s president shoots mountain lions. It is no surprise that he eats Western leaders for breakfast.

Speaking of eating…

If you do not eat meat, be quiet about it.

Chicken and fish are not meat. Beef is meat. Normal people eat it because it tastes good. We do not eat it for health reasons. We eat it because we like it with potatoes.

Thanks to Michelle Obama and others who want to regulate every aspect of our diets, McDonalds now puts apple slices in Happy Meals. Naturally, they are losing money. Healthy school lunches that are holistic, organic, gluten free and flavor free are being thrown in the trash as children starve.

After the nanny-state schools drops them off, they sneak off to grab a burger and fries like a normal kid.

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If you have a moral objection to guns or soda, keep it to yourself.

Utilized the right way, guns and soda are at the heart of what makes America great. We can have them without outside interference. The dispute comes over what constitutes the right way to have them.

Normal Americans believe that anything that is legal, constitutional and not interfering with anybody else’s freedoms are just fine.

Basket Case America tries to ban everything they do not understand. Guns and soda when abused can cause death.

Basket Case America still fails to grasp that virtually anything and everything when abused can be fatal. Liberals have a right to speak, but they usually keep talking until they bore everybody to death.

Cease all violent protesting.

The 1960s are long dead. Flower power was not about civil rights. Young people wanted to get stoned, so they did. America is still suffering the effects of the original “me generation.”

Peace and love was a myth. The Weather Underground and Black Panthers set off bombs and murdered innocent people. Now they are back, and as violent as ever.

There is Occupy Wall Street, which has nothing to do with Wall Street. There is Black Lives Matter, a segregationist group that encourages blacks to kill police officers to avenge the deaths of guilty blacks who are dead because they tried to kill police officers.

Code Pink is an anti-war group that helps Palestinian suicide bombers murder Israelis. Wisconsin unions disagreed with a collective bargaining law restricting their right to commit violence, so they vandalized the state capitol.

In each case these domestic terrorist groups claim that the few bad actors ruin it for the peaceful protesters. Lying does not make it so.

Stop complaining about everything.

Even the few peaceful leftist protest movements are annoying. The 1960s kids were spoiled brats. They complained about everything. They still do. They wail about justice rather than just obey the law. They cry about fairness even though life is unfair.

They screech about inequality even though human beings are inherently unequal.

From radical feminists to obsessive vegans to militant secularists, are there any Democrats willing to stand up like Bill Clinton did and demand Democrats become normal human beings? Do these leftists ever stop complaining?

Rumors of Elizabeth Warren cracking a smile were greatly exaggerated. She briefly contracted lockjaw while scowling and yelling.

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Keep your pants up in public.

Politically liberal areas are far more likely to see people walking around with their underwear hanging out. Just because somebody has the right to be slovenly does not mean sloth should be encouraged.

In truly leftist areas like New York City and San Francisco, engaging in bodily functions on public streets is making a comeback. Forget that children are around. We must protect the rights of the degenerates and reprobates.

Mayors Bill DeBlasio and Gavin Newsome perhaps believe we can recycle human waste to remove America’s dependence on foreign oil. Even if that were true, using port-a-potties is not too much for Normal America to ask of Basket Case America.

Support the rights of victims and the American military. Criminals and terrorists are the bad guys.

Illegal immigrants are murdering innocent people because illegal sanctuary cities are letting them. Chicago, Detroit and Baltimore are turning into Fallujah and Damascus, only with less law and order.

Support the aggressive killing of terrorists, foreign and domestic. Do not say something was “workplace violence” unless your coworker throws a stapler at you. Locking up mentally ill people and forcibly medicating them is not cruelty. It is the height of compassion.

Former Gotham Mayor Rudy Giuliani saved plenty of people of all colors who would have died had the Basket Cases let them rot under fake compassion.

The primary function of government is the safety of its citizens. Leaders catering to Basket Case America increase local deaths. Leaders answering to Normal America reduce crime and terrorism from Islamists, leftists and those arguing with inanimate objects.

Normal America does not spit in our troops like leftists did in Vietnam. Normal America also does not cynically pretend to support American troops while undermining the mission like they did with the 2003 Iraq War.

They help American soldiers win even if a GOP president they hate gets some of the credit. Normal America sees an American soldier and offers an apolitical “welcome home.”

Live a normal day. Then try to live another one.

Normal America wakes up, cleans off with a shower, puts on clean clothes not made out of hemp, gets in an automobile and drives to something called work. They do their job. Hours later, they come home, put their feet on a coffee table, enjoy a beverage and a burger, and watch a ballgame.

On the weekends they play with their children and catch up with the spouse over errands and other responsibilities.

Basket Case America regulates your water usage by demanding you use low-flush toilet bowls. If this is not the ultimate intrusion of privacy combined with backwardness, it is hard to say what is.

Conservatives try to overthrow Islamist terrorists. Leftists wage war on indoor plumbing.

After a restricted shower and a granola bar, Basket Case America attend protest marches all day. Most of these movements at best stand for nothing and at worst are violently destructive. Then these narcissists take selfies of themselves doing nothing so they can immediately post it to their social media sites.

They consider being to be doing, and scream about income inequality and capitalism while taking pictures on their expensive smart phones. They text while driving their Priuses in the left lane, going 20 miles under the speed limit.

The rest of them use their bicycles and proudly drift over into the lanes meant for non-Prius users.

All of these divergent behaviors have one common thread.

Basket Case America is led by leftists. They want free stuff now and forever and will take it from others with as much violence as possible. Normal America is is led by people who just want to be left alone. These conservatives even tried moving far away from the leftists.

They left cities and built lives around farms and ranches just to get away from Basket Case America.

Basket Case America tried to follow them. Leftists who destroyed California, New York, Illinois, Massachusetts and Maryland moved to Nevada, Arizona, Texas, Florida, Indiana, New Hampshire and Virginia. Those in Basket Case America too arrogant to leave their self-inflicted city hovels tried to get the federal government to shut down ranches and farms and force the refugees back to their blue state miseries.

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For awhile the basket cases were forced to shut up for political expediency, but they have now bit through their duct-taped mouths and are yapping at objects human and non-human in various parking lots.

The Republican Party has Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz, Scott Walker, Jeb Bush and many other normal human beings running for the 2016 White House. Democrats are the same basket cases that we have always had: Michael Dukakis, Al Gore, John Kerry, Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Boxer and Debbie Wasserman Schultz.

The only normal human being the Democrats have offered in the last 47 years has been Bill Clinton. He is not on the ballot this year, although many Democrats wish he were for the reasons outlined here.

Leftists could try to return to pretending to act normal, but the newest zealots lack the discipline, restraint and clean, non-ripped clothing. Some Democrats have pleaded for fake calm. Those overtures have been loudly rejected.

The inmates are running the leftist asylum. The only thing conservatives need to do is get more of the violence on video and distribute it as quickly as possible.

If the Republican Party shows the differences between conservative Normal America and liberal Basket Case America, the GOP will win the 2016 election easily.


Eric Golub

Brooklyn born, Long Island raised and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Read more from Eric at his TYGRRRR EXPRESS blog. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.”