January 6: No more an insurrection than spring break in Miami
LOS ANGELES — For those who read liberal textbooks or listen to liberal television personalities, only three events have ever happened in American history. In 1619, a bunch of white racists enslaved black people and started a nation built on systemic racism. Then in 1968, Dr. Martin Luther King was assassinated. Then on January 6, 2021, an insurrection by white racists caused a threat to our democracy that remains today.
Those living in the real world and not overdosing on recreational pharmaceuticals properly dismiss such hysteria. The truth is far more boring and far less sinister.
There was no insurrection. I repeat. There was no insurrection.
An insurrection is a coordinated effort to destabilize and overthrow a legally elected government or governing entity. Picture Hillary Clinton and John Brennan inventing a fictional conspiracy out of thin air involving Donald Trump and the Russian government. (Biden and the Deep State reviving the tired ole Trump Russia delusion)
Picture Wisconsin liberals storming their state capitol and repeatedly threatening Governor Scott Walker’s life over a collective bargaining law.
Picture Antifa activists burning down cities, neighborhoods, and police stations due to a non-existent epidemic of white police officers murdering black citizens in cold blood.
Picture Congressman Steve Scalise being shot, Senator Rand Paul, being beaten within an inch of his life, North Carolina GOP headquarters being firebombed, and a Duval, Florida GOP booth being rammed into by a truck.
Picture a black man named Darrell Brooks taking out his rage over the Kyle Rittenhouse verdict by mowing down innocent Waukesha grandmothers at a Christmas parade. (The Rittenhouse trial and the Waukesha terror prove we must fend for ourselves)
Picture progressive mayors and district attorneys purposely letting violent criminals out of jail to commit more crimes.
All of those events involve massive amounts of violence that destabilize society.
Try getting through a weekend in Chicago without a child being shot to death. Good luck.
By comparison, January 6 was nothing. It was not September 11 or Pearl Harbor. It was not the George Floyd riots. All of those events involved mass numbers of casualties.
Not all of the mindless comments about January 6 come from the left.
There is idiocy by some people who are right of center as well.
The January 6 rioters were not heroes or patriots. What they did was wrong. While there may have been a few leftist plants there, let us not pretend this was one giant leftist conspiracy. The left is ruthlessly organized. January 6 was disorganized, uncoordinated chaos.
The left loves January 6 because it creates the myth of conservative violence while suppressing actual leftist violence.
In reality, January 6 increased the percentage of right-wing violence to an asterisk. Well below one percent but not absolute zero. The percentage of violence committed by leftists dropped from completely 100% to significantly more than 99.99%.
Five people died on January 6, less than 1% of the casualties caused by the George Floyd riots. Three of the five died of natural causes, including one police officer. One person died of a drug overdose. One unarmed Trump supporter and veteran named Ashli Babbitt was shot to death by police officer Michael Byrd.
Officer Byrd is being protected from questioning because the left is perfectly fine with an officer shooting an unarmed woman as long as the woman is a conservative. (A tale of two cops: A mistake is a crime while an intentional shooting is not)
If the people on January 6 were insurrectionists, they were the dumbest and politest insurrectionists in the history of political terrorism.
They were about as dangerous as your average group of College Spring Breakers. They were guilty of hijinks similar to the movie “Animal House.” Many of the people who entered the Capitol walked around aimlessly, took selfies, thanked the police officers, and left.
These were doofuses. They committed misdemeanor trespassing. They should have paid a $200 fine and been sent home. No officials were in any danger, despite Alexandria Occasional Cortex’s clutching of her pearls.
Those who committed violence deserve to be punished with jail, but that is a fraction of the protesters.
Let us not pretend that this was anything other than an isolated incident by a mob of people who entered the Capitol without anything remotely resembling an objective.
What really enrages Democrats about January 6 is that most voters no longer care. From climate change to Covid to January 6, the left keeps repeating the same boring refrain. We are all going to die, and Republicans are killing us all. That is why Jen Psaki keeps referring to Trump as practicing “the big lie.”
That is a Holocaust reference. Trump became just the latest Republican President whom the left reflexively compared to Adolf Hitler. To compare the murder of six million Jews to a few hundred people taking selfies at the Capitol was once offensive. Now it is just tired and boring.
Most Americans do not believe that Trump or any other Republican is a genocidal monster who will eat their babies.
If Democrats could govern, they would have positive accomplishments to brag about. Skyrocketing crime and inflation do not go over well with voters. Democrats failed to pass their Build Back Better agenda. Soon they will fail to pass their vote-rigging bill meant to nationalize local elections. They failed to enact national Covid mandates, as constitutionalist judges keep striking those mandates down. They are desperate to drag January 6 out until the November elections, but voters know better.
The left is so desperate for right-wing villains that they are now inventing them. This is why Juicy Smelly-Derriere had to invent fake right-wingers to roam the South Side of Chicago at 2:00 a.m. in the freezing cold to beat up a gay black man.
January 6 was not a hoax, but the narrative around it is.
Bad behavior happened on January 6, but it was insignificant in terms of size, scope, and purpose. If the people who entered the Capitol are unable to explain why they did it, chances are they have no idea why.
This makes them dumb individuals.
Let us have a return to sanity by replacing wild-eyed conspiracy theories with clear-eyed reality.
Leftists tossing Molotov cocktails and burning down police stations are not “mostly peaceful.” Trump supporters do not go looking for gay black people to beat up. Police officers do not wake up in the morning looking for young black men to shoot. Trump is not now or has he ever been a spy for the Russian government.
The January 6 protesters acted like people who rush the stage at a rock concert. They are not trying to kill the lead singer. They most likely want a free guitar pic as a keepsake.
The day after the midterms, the Democrats will regret trying to make their entire campaign message about Trump as Orange Hitler.
Trump is a private citizen. The voters look forward. They do not want to hear excuses. They want the current administration to fix problems. This involves doing things, not giving endless speeches about a Spring Break party relocated from South Beach to D.C.
The January 6 trespassers were not murderers, arsonists or political terrorists.
They were doofuses.
About the Author:
Brooklyn-born, Long Island raised, and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist, and comedian. But he lives for football. Particularly the Raiders.