Gavin Newsom survives recall, vows to finish off California for good
LOS ANGELES, September 15, 2021 — Fresh off his successful survival in the California recall, Governor Gavin Newsom vowed to finish off California for good.
Newsom ran a scorched earth campaign that was heavy on race-baiting and light on defending his own failed record. A white Newsom supporter dressed up as a gorilla and threw eggs at Republican Larry Elder, who is black. Newsom said nothing.
Longtime liberal activist and actress Rose McGowan accused Newsom of helping Harvey Weinstein cover up his rape of McGowan. Newsom stayed silent.
The liberal California media, desperate to protect Newsom, never asked him to confirm or deny the allegations. Newsom also mentioned Donald Trump in every other sentence, despite Trump having nothing to do with the recall.
Newsom successfully deflected from his own failures and made the recall about
“Orange man bad.”
Now that Newsom has survived, he is expected to continue seeking vengeance on anyone who disagrees with him.
The last round of Covid lockdowns involved deliberate ideological targeting. Institutions containing vast numbers of Republican voters such as churches were closed. Institutions containing vast numbers of Democrat voters such as marijuana dispensaries remained open.
In addition to stoners, Newsom loves teachers’ unions.
They spent plenty of money on the recall to keep him in office. After all, teacher’s unions have plenty of time on their hands given that they have spent the last two years on a paid vacation. Newsom is expected to immediately allow the teacher’s unions to reward teachers for doing nothing. And punish students for trying to breathe. Cruel mask mandates will harm students, in addition to the drugs, gangs, and bullying that already puts their lives at risk.
Public schools are where kids go to die, and Newsom has gleefully condemned children to the whims of activist teachers.
Once Newsom’s Covid superpowers run out, he will give himself climate superpowers.
He will declare climate change a crisis, justifying subverting the state constitution to enact new regulations.
Newsom’s dreadful policy on controlled burns has exacerbated California wildfires. By continuing these destructive policies, Newsom can let wildfires burn large areas containing voters he hates. Why bother saving lives when he can let everything burn in areas where the people vote Republican?
Newsom will continue to shut down as many small businesses as possible because small business owners vote Republican.
Most importantly, Newsom will make sure to stop being so humble and start being significantly more arrogant. His smugness level is simply not adequate if he wants to be a presidential candidate. It is not enough to destroy lives and suppress human beings.
He needs to make sure everyone sees him laughing while doing it.
Newsom survived the recall by scaring the daylights out of people. His most notable opponent Larry Elder would come to your home and eat your children. He would yell,
“I’m black Donald Trump, and your children are delicious!”
Now that Newsom has successfully demagogued his way into retaining power, he will immediately get to work abusing his power, expanding his power, and then abusing that expansion of power. He will make sure to continue to issue draconian executive orders and then disobey his own orders.
Let the Newsom vengeance tour begin. He was a failure before the recall.
Now, with no restraints on him, his absolute power will allow him to become a bigger, spectacular failure. California may be finished for good, but Newsom is just getting started. If liberals can finish off every last ray of hope in California, they can break the economy and spirit of anyone in any state in America, anywhere.
About the Author:
Brooklyn-born, Long Island raised, and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist, and comedian. But he lives for football. Particularly the Raiders.