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2021 Austin Hill Awards: The Top 10 Powerful Bald White Guys

Written By | Dec 30, 2021
Bald White Guy, Rittenhouse, Trial, Judge Bruce Schroeder, Kenosha, Mistrial

Judge Bruce Schroeder – Screen Shot from featured video.

LOS ANGELES – As Americans enthusiastically prepare to send 2021 into history’s dustbin, an eternal life truisms remains. When a crisis starts to spiral out of control, get a Powerful Bald White Guy (PBWG) to handle it. Powerful Bald White Guys run the world. Giving PBWGs their due requires bringing them out of their hiding places once a year.

The original PBWG list was inspired by actor Dann Florek. (2013)

He played Captain Donald Cragen on the long-running series, “Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.” Another great “Law and Order” PBWG was the late actor Fred Thompson. Although he eventually becomes a Tennessee Senator, Thompson remains forever in our hearts for his portrayal of New York District Attorney Arthur Branch.

Our Powerful Bald White Guys list is forever dedicated to Austin Hill.

Austin Hill was only 51 years old when he passed away suddenly in late 2015. He was a beloved family man and longtime radio host based in Boise, Idaho. Hill was actually not bald. Hill had thick, perfect hair but he was a fan of the annual list of PBWGs.

He graciously gave it far more radio attention than it ever deserved.

For his kindness and humor, the annual PBWG list will hopefully keep Austin Hill’s memory alive forever.

In a controversial decision, Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas did not make the list.  He has been indispensable in helping collapse the Southern border so that unlimited numbers of illegal immigrants and refugees can stream into American without consequences.

The purpose of promoting illegal immigration is to help Democrats win elections in perpetuity.

Illegals overwhelmingly vote Democrat. In 1984, President Ronald Reagan was reelected with 49 states. Rather than change their policies, Democrats began the long process of replacing the electorate with a more pro-Marxist, anti-capitalist electorate.

While Mayorkas performed his population control and vote-rigging brilliantly, he is ineligible for this list.

He is Hispanic, not caucasian. He is from Cuba, and would immediately head any list of the top Powerful Bald Communist Hispanic Guys (PBCHGs).

Neither Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders or U.S. Attorney John Durham made the list.

Neither of them delivered the goods. They may at some point deliver, but the potential is not results. Leftists dream of Bernie’s revolution. Conservatives dream of justice for the revolutionaries who tried to illegally overthrow the Trump government. As of now, those dreams are still in the hibernation stage.

With fake apologies to Secretary Mayorkas, here are the 2021 Austin Hill Awards dedicated to…

The 2021 Top 10 Powerful Bald White Guys.

10.) David Solomon.

In a shocking and highly controversial decision, David Solomon barely made the list. The CEO of Goldman Sachs is usually America’s top PBWG since Goldman Sachs normally runs the world. Jon Corzine, Hank Paulson, Loyd Blankfein, and now David Solomon all headed the politically connected Wall Street investment banking firm that is too big to fail.

However, in the age of first Donald Trump and now Bernie Sanders, Wall Street is not as worshiped as it was among voters in years past.

The establishment donors still love them, but the grassroots are suspicious of them. Solomon will at some point top this list when the anti-Wall Street sentiment calms down.

If the Dow Jones Industrial Average continues to skyrocket in 2022, there will be no stopping the modern-day King Solomon.

9.) Brian Stelter —

Most people have no idea who this CNN host is. Those who watch cable news find him an object of ridicule. Fox News host Greg Gutfeld gleefully refers to Stelter as “Mr. Potato Head.”

Stelter hosts one of the lowest-rated programs on one of the lowest-rated cable networks.

Nick at Nite reruns from the 1950s gets better ratings than he does. His program “Reliable Sources” is dedicated to advancing conspiracy theories against Republicans and suppressing real news stories that are damaging to Democrats.

He considers his program to be about spreading the truth, but he is as truthful in advertising as a 400-pound biker named Tiny.

Yet Stelter is on this list because he must be powerful. How else can one explain someone so utterly incompetent at everything maintaining a private-sector job? It is one thing to perpetually fail upward in government. The private sector usually demands real results. Whatever blackmail pictures Stelter has of his boss Jeff Zucker, they must be colossal.

8.) Tim Walz —

Minnesota Governor Walz is deeply committed to the Black Lives Matter movement and racial justice. He advances racial justice by allowing white Antifa criminals to burn down black-owned businesses in black neighborhoods.

For those not understanding how setting black neighborhoods on fire helps black people, making sense of it requires being a liberal.

Walz’s strategy of reducing crime is to ask nicely for the violent criminals to pretty please stop being violent criminals.

As weak and useless as Tim “No Balls” Walz has been, he conveys a false image of moderation compared to his fellow emasculated beta male Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey. Walz successfully prevent the Trump administration from sending federal help to his burning state in 2020. Yet George Floyd is the past. 2021 brought the Duante Wright riots. With hard work and dedication, Walz may finally finish Minnesota off for good in 2022. If he gets reelected with his record, he will skyrocket up this list next year.

7.) Jeff Bezos —

He was previously the top PBWG as the world’s richest man and dorkiest logistics coordinator. After all, nothing inspires people, grabs headlines, and screams sex appeal like supply-chain management. Bezos fell from the top spot when he mailed pictures of his genitalia to his mistress, who shared them with a  friend. The picture went viral, and Bezos’s ex-wife MacKenzie is now the world’s wealthiest woman.

Even so, Bezos is still rich enough to be on this list.

While most people were harmed by lockdowns, Bezos did very well as the CEO of Amazon. With more people at home unable to go out, there was nothing to do but shop online. Bezos hired massive numbers of new employees while other companies were downsizing. He got the packages delivered on time. His control over the Washington Post gave Bezos significant control over the flow of information.

Yet since he stepped down from Amazon, Bezos is just a bored rich guy looking for new thrills. He flies into space. All his money will not cure his boredom. He is on the verge of becoming the richest and powerful guy too insignificant to care about.

6.) Jeff Zucker —

This lunkhead is somehow still running and ruining CNN. He is proof that PBWGs can survive almost anything, from incompetence to corruption. Zucker has presided over a rating collapse. The major decline in audience numbers came after the Mueller Russiagate report essentially exonerated President Trump, invalidating much of CNN’s endless reporting on the subject.

Zucker transformed CNN into a 100% anti-Trump resistance network, oblivious to the fact that MSNBC already did that.

If not for their paying airports to air CNN, this fast-declining cable network’s ratings would be approaching absolute zero.

CNN then lost their airport contract, falsely claiming that they decided to voluntarily end it.

2021 was the year the roof caved in on this beleaguered network.

Zucker was always viewed by critics as incompetent. 2021 saw him be exposed either as corrupt or as totally oblivious to corruption and criminality. Chris Cuomo was caught up in various scandals, including helping his brother cover up sexual assault allegations.

After New York Governor Andrew Cuomo was forced out, Chris Cuomo was expendable.

Yet Zucker never admitted that he helped cover up Chris Cuomo’s sex scandals and conflicts of interest that violated basic journalistic standards.

Zucker made excuses for Chris Cuomo and brought disgraced masturbation scandal pundit Jeffrey Toobin back to the network.

Then there were the pedophilia scandals involving CNN employees. People began asking exactly what it took besides being a conservative republican to get fired from CNN.

Zucker’s network is so bad that the previously mentioned Brian Stelter is not the network’s biggest embarrassment. Like Stelter, Zucker must have some pretty compromising photos of people even more powerful than he is.

Rumors are swirling that in 2022, a merger of conglomerates will finally lead to Zucker being forced out. Yet until then, he remains a PBWG who uses his PBWG characteristics to stay on top.

5.) Bruce Arians —

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers head coach is more than just a guy coaching a sports team. He is one of the few people who talks about diversity but achieves it the right way. Diversity is normally an excuse for sacrificing quality and remaining mediocre or worse.

Most business leaders blather on about diversity to cover up massive failures.  Hire a bunch of token minorities who are completely unqualified and hope that people will ignore incompetence and failure.

Arians preached diversity and excellence and has delivered both. He led the Indianapolis Colts to the AFC Title Game as interim coach. He led the Arizona Cardinals to the NFC Title Game as head coach. Last year he led the Buccaneers to the Super Bowl where they won it all. This year he led the Buccaneers to their first NFC South division title since 2007. Yes, he has had great quarterbacks from Andrew Luck to Tom Brady, but he has made them better.

When he barks orders even at Brady, Brady listens.

Arians then vowed to bring more women into football, and he delivered on that promise. He hired the first female assistant coaches. Yet these women were not token hires. These women were well qualified. Arians is constantly looking to expand opportunities for minorities but subject them to the same rigorous standards as the white men on his staff.

Many people pretend to do this, but Arians actually does it. Forced fake diversity breeds resentment. Real diversity combined with merit brings a successful team atmosphere in the ultimate team game.

4.) Judge Stephen Breyer —

Some may question how a liberal on a United States Supreme Court with a 6-3 conservative majority could be powerful but do not underestimate Judge Breyer. He is not a crazed wild-eyed leftist. He is a reasonable center-left judge who is capable of forging a majority with center-right judges on the court.

His likable affable nature is typical of the collegial High Court. It helps forge compromises. Most Americans focus on 5-4 verdicts, but the SCOTUS has delivered plenty of 9-0 and 8-1 decisions in recent years.

Breyer also knows how to turn out the noise. Liberals demanded that he resign after Joe Biden was elected President so that Biden could nominate a younger successor. He politely told his fellow liberals to go pound sand. He would retire on his own terms. Now that Republicans are expected to win big in the 2022 midterms and block most Biden judicial nominees, liberals are begging Breyer to stay.

They want him to hang on in the hopes Biden can get reelected.

Breyer is happy to oblige them. In a world where leaders at the top are often forced out, Breyer has outlasted his critics and continued to play a vital role in shaping American policy.

For a guy in the minority, he sure found a way to be in the majority on some big decisions. Chief Justice John Roberts gets most of the focus, but behind the scenes, Justice Breyer is a quiet but powerful force.

3.) Rupert Murdoch —

He could have been on this list almost every year but for the most part, never was. The Chairman and CEO of Fox News were often considered the guy writing the checks. President Roger Ailes was the brains behind the success of Fox News. Ailes was a real PBWG in his own right, but not even a PBWG is indispensable.

Getting to the top is hard enough. Staying at the top is even harder.  Getting back to the top after stumbling is the hardest feat of all.

The rise of Donald Trump gave a jolt of energy to leftist competitors CNN and MSNBC.

The fall of Ailes was followed by the departures of top-rated host Bill O’Reilly. Other top talents including Megyn Kelly and Greta Van Susteren left the network. Rising stars like Andrea Tantaros left.

Murdoch held the ship together and steered it through the turbulent times. Tucker Carlson has thrived in the main spot once occupied by O’Reilly. Shannon Bream has brought a new hour of hard news into what was once an evening solely devoted to opinion television. Kevin Corke is a new rising star. Sean Hannity has been the one constant between the Ailes era and the post-Ailes era.

The election of Biden has reinvigorated Hannity. He is fighting like he was during the Barack Obama years.

Murdoch even fired one of his own two sons from Fox News, sending him to handle the entertainment part of the Murdoch empire. Murdoch’s other son technically runs things, but the Senior Murdoch is far from a symbolic figure. He is what he has always been, the glue that holds the entire thing together.

To expect anything less of a PBWG would be shocking news indeed.

2.) Senator Patrick Leahy —

He is actually the Senior Senator from Vermont, a few years older than Bernie Sanders. Senator Leahy is far less flashy than Sanders but far more effective. As the frequent Chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, he has mastered the art of calmly eviscerating Republican judicial nominees. He tells them that he is just an old-time country lawyer, but everyone knows he was a fierce prosecutor. After making the obligatory self-deprecating remarks about his age, the 82-year-old then pounces.

Yet while the Judiciary Committee brings headlines, Leahy’s real power comes from being the Chairman of the Senate

Appropriations Committee. Right now the Biden Administration is spending trillions of dollars. The recent infrastructure bill was signed into law, adding more than one trillion alone. While the Build Back Better bill may be headed to defeat, that is not on Senator Leahy. His job is not to get the bills passed. His main task is to dole out the money. He controls the Senate purse strings. Cross Leahy, and see your pet pork project go somewhere else. Vermont is a small state that gets plenty of federal dollars. That does not happen by accident.

Leahy is retiring in 2022, but that only makes him more powerful until he leaves.

Now he has nothing to lose. He was never in danger of losing an election. Now he does not even have to raise money. An unrestrained Leahy will still be polite and genial, but even more fiercely partisan than before.

For a down-the-line doctrinaire liberal, Leahy showed how to play the game. Many leftists scream loudly and accomplish nothing. Although President Teddy Roosevelt coined the phrase “Speak softly and carry a big stick,” Leahy perfected it.
Yet for all of Leahy’s power, one person topped him. This person went from being a total unknown in 2020 to a rock star in 2021. They may be forgotten by 2022, but their legacy is secure in PBWG history.

1.) Judge Bruce Schroeder —

This Wisconsin Judge was living a quiet, non-controversial life on the bench until the highest of high-profile cases was assigned to him. Judge Schroeder presided over the Kyle Rittenhouse trial and became a force of nature to be reckoned with.

Like Senator Leahy, Judge Schroeder eschews bombast for calm, civil discussion. Yet like Leahy, Schroeder cracks down hard when others cross the line.

The prosecution made the grievous error of Rittenhouse’s silence upon being arrested was a tacit admission of guilt. Schroeder erupted at the prosecution, reminding them and the world that the 5th Amendment right against self-incrimination was basic law 101.

The first thing police tell the people they arrest is that they have a right to remain silent.

That is absolutely not an admission of guilt, and Schroeder was right to emphatically make his point. He still managed to do so in a way that was sane rather than unhinged. His anger was righteous anger, but he maintained his professionalism.

From beginning to end, he kept a firm hand over the trial.

When MSNBC hired people to stalk the jury for the purposes of doxxing and intimidation, Judge Schroeder again cracked down. He kicked MSNBC out of the courtroom and put other networks on notice. Cameras in the courtroom is a courtesy, and anyone abusing his hospitality would be appropriately sanctioned.

MSNBC denied their malevolent intentions, but Schroeder was not buying their feeble explanation. The Rittenhouse trial had the potential for turning into a circus, and Schroeder ably prevented that from happening. After the verdict, Schroeder thanked the jury and praised their professionalism in the toughest of circumstances.

Judge Schroeder may fade back into obscurity going forward.

Judges rarely get more than one case of that magnitude and television presence. Schroeder will probably be fine with this. The Rittenhouse trial was one of the most important stories of 2021, and Schroeder was the most central figure other than Rittenhouse himself. For handling the glaring spotlight on his chrome dome without breaking into the slightest cue ball sweat, Judge Schroeder showed what real toughness under fire is about.

Congratulations to Judge Bruce Schroeder, the Top PBWG of 2021.

Read Also:

Austin Hill Awards: The Top 10 Powerful Bald White Guys of 2020

CDN’s Top 10 Most Powerful Bald White Guys (PBWGs) of 2019

Top 10 Powerful Bald White Guys (PBWG) of the Decade 2010-2019


Read more from Eric Golub

About the Author:

Brooklyn-born, Long Island raised, and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist, and comedian. But he lives for football. Particularly the Raiders.

Visit Eric’s Website Tygrrrrr Express and follow him on Facebook and Twitter.

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Eric Golub

Brooklyn born, Long Island raised and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Read more from Eric at his TYGRRRR EXPRESS blog. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.”