WASHINGTON, July 10, 2015 – When the political hacks who work tirelessly to secure our little pathetic lives saw their computers hacked by China, which took information pertaining to 21.5 million government employees and their families — roughly 7 percent of America’s population — President Obama’s White House cybersecurity coordinator Michael Daniel said, “We have to raise our level of cybersecurity in both the private sector and the public sector.”
Really. What are deep-thinker Daniel’s government salary and benefits? I guess we can ask the Chinese.
Cyber intruders hacked Sony Pictures Entertainment’s email system and threatened to release embarrassing emails if the studio went through with its 2014 Christmas release of the movie, “The Interview,” in which China’s puppet dictator, North Korea’s Kim Jong-un, is assassinated by the CIA.
Hackers, likely Chinese, revealed that producer Scott Rudin thinks actress Angelina Jolie is a “spoiled brat.” While discussing a possible film project on the life of Cleopatra, Rudin said he was not interested in “presiding over a $180m ego bath that we know will be the career-defining debacle for us both.”
In another released email, Sony Pictures co-chairman Amy Pascal and Rudin discuss President Obama’s possible preference for films starring African-Americans.
Pascal asks Rudin, “Should I ask him [Obama] if he liked ‘Django’? Or ‘The Butler’. Or ‘Think like a Man’?”
“I bet he likes Kevin Hart,” said Rudin.
An embarrassed Pascal released a statement, saying, “The content of my emails were insensitive and inappropriate, but are not an accurate reflection of who I am.”
Actually, statements made in private conversations are the most revealing reflection of one’s true thoughts.
That returns us to the recent U.S. government hack. Among the treasure trove of information gathered by China on the millions of U.S. government thralls who make up the permanent administrative state are their 120-page employment questionnaires.
Known as SF-86s, the documents contain information about immediate family, business associates, financial histories and criminal backgrounds. The forms also include information on gambling addictions, outstanding debts, drug and alcohol abuse, and the shaky state of their mental health.
So, here is an open letter to the People’s Republic of China:
As you may have heard, our Internal Revenue Service recently handed out $2.8 million in bonuses to employees facing disciplinary action, with $1 million earmarked for those who have failed to pay federal income tax.
This agency of the U.S. government serves the same purpose as your People’s Liberation Army: it keeps the masses in a constant state of fear and, when needed, can crush political opposition to government authority, as it recently did by targeting conservative and tea party organizations for extra scrutiny.
Your PLA uses bayonets. Our IRS uses tax audits and liens.
If you would be so kind, please release the most egregious records of corruption among the millions of America’s overbearing, bureaucratic overlords.
Let Americans see that the minions whose job it is to beat us into compliance with dictatorial Obamacare are, in the words often used to describe your nation, a corrupt “paper tiger.”
P.S. If you happened to hack former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s unsecured home email server, the one with communications detailing foreign cash contributions to her crime family’s foundation in exchange for weapons sales and such, we’d sure appreciate a glimpse at those as well. As you know, she has since erased them.
Thank you in advance and we look forward to any and all revelations.
Keep your fingers crossed, America.