Austin Hill Awards: The Top 10 Powerful Bald White Guys of 2020
ATLANTA, December 30, 2020 — As Americans eagerly prepare to wish 2020 good riddance to bad rubbish, one of life’s eternal truisms remains. When a crisis spirals out of control, find a Powerful Bald White Guy (PBWG) to solve it. Powerful Bald White Guys run the world. Giving PBWGs their due requires bringing them out of their hiding places once a year.
He played Captain Donald Cragen on the long-running series, “Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.” Another great “Law and Order” PBWG was the late actor Fred Thompson. Although he eventually becomes a Tennessee Senator, Thompson remains forever in our hearts for his portrayal of New York District Attorney Arthur Branch.
Our Powerful Bald White Guys list is forever dedicated to Austin Hill.
Austin Hill was only 51 years old when he passed away suddenly in late 2015. He was a beloved family man and longtime radio host based in Boise, Idaho. Hill was actually not bald. He had thick, perfect hair. He just liked the annual list of PBWGs. He graciously gave it far more radio attention than it ever deserved.
For his kindness and humor, the annual PBWG list will hopefully keep Austin Hill’s memory alive forever.
In a shocking and highly controversial decision, David Solomon did not make the list.
The CEO of Goldman Sachs is usually America’s top PBWG since Goldman Sachs normally runs the world. Jon Corzine, Hank Paulson, Loyd Blankfein, and now David Solomon all headed the politically connected Wall Street investment banking firm that is too big to fail. (Goldman Sachs CEO David Solomon (DoD photo by Lisa Ferdinando)
However, in the age of Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders, Wall Street is not as worshiped as it was among voters in years past. The establishment donors still love them, but the grassroots are suspicious of them. Solomon will at some point top this list when the anti-Wall Street sentiment calms down.
If the Dow Jones Industrial Average continues to skyrocket in 2021, there will be no stopping the modern-day King Solomon.
In an even more controversial decision, Dr. Moncef Slaoui did not make the list.
The former GlaxoSmithKline executive is one of the world’s top experts in the creation and distribution of vaccines.
Determined to rapidly get a COVID vaccine to Americans, President Trump appointed Dr. Slaoui to head up Operation Warp Speed.
While Slaoui performed brilliantly, he is ineligible for this list. He is Middle Eastern, not caucasian. He is from Morocco, and would immediately head any list of the top Powerful Bald Middle Eastern Guys (PBMEGs).
With sincere apologies to Dr. Slaoui, here are the 2020 Austin Hill Awards dedicated to…
The Top 10 Powerful Bald White Guys.
10.) George Wyner
Many people see his face and exclaim, “Oh yeah, that guy. I like him.” Wyner has been an actor for several decades, often in very comedic roles.
If a doctor, a lawyer, and a Rabbi walk into a bar, it is possible Wyner is playing all three of them.
He has appeared in over 100 television programs from “Murder, She Wrote” to “Hill Street Blues.”
He was a TV tribute to nondescript pencil pushers long before they existed. While 2020 was not his most famous year, this is more of a lifetime achievement award. Very few men can appear in scenes with fellow PBWGs like Jeffrey Tambor and hold their own. Wyner did. After failing to overthrow Suzanne Somers in “She’s the Sheriff,” Wyner now has his long-overdue recognition.
9.) Joe Rogan
He is more than just a comedian. He is more than just the guy who was part of the ensemble cast of “Newsradio.” Rogan started a podcast. In a world where everyone and their third cousin has an opinion on the video, this would not seem noteworthy.
However, Rogan is one of those rare podcasters that people actually listen to.
The ratings clearly show that people care about what he has to say. His politics are all over the place. He has fans and detractors from all across the spectrum. With people at home in 2020 due to COVID lockdown edicts, Rogan had more people to become listeners.
8.) Russell Vought
Russell Vought is the current Director of the Office of Management and Budget. While the OMB may seem
like the place only a bureaucrat could love, Vought’s job is one of the most powerful and consequential. He decides where to allocate resources.
The modern version of the Golden Rule is that he who controls the gold controls the rules. Vought is the gatekeeper of government money.
7.) Rudy Giuliani
Over the decades the former New York City Mayor has taken on many roles. In the 1980s as a prosecutor, he took on the mob and beat them. In the 1990s he turned Gotham City around when it was on the brink of collapse.
In the 2000s he was known as America’s Mayor for his heroic actions in the wake of the September 11th attacks.
While never really totally fading from view, he resurrected himself in the late 2010s as President Trump’s personal attorney. Giuliani went toe to toe with Special Counsel Bob Mueller, and Mueller blinked. In 2020 Giuliani played a vital role in dealing with election irregularities.
Giuliani’s job was not to win that battle in court. That was up to other attorneys. Giuliani is the public relations guy. If the boss wants an issue in the spotlight, Giuliani keeps it there. His experience and savvy allow him to take on the media and help shape the political and legal narrative.
6.) Bernie Sanders —
There was zero chance that this 78-year-old Socialist answer to Oscar the Grouch was going to become President. While he lost the battle, he won the war for the heart and soul of the Democrat Party.
Normal America has rejected socialism, but the Democrat Party led by The Squad has embraced it. Bernie will never be the messenger, but Democrats have accepted his message as the future of their party.
5.) John Durham —
A guy trying to overthrow the federal government is powerful. A guy who can bring a coup plotter to justice is even more powerful. Attorney General Bill Barr hired no-nonsense prosecutor John Durham to
look into the origins of the Russia hoax designed to sabotage and remove President Trump. Durham is one Powerful Bald White Guy.
He is tough as nails and has a reputation for being above politics. He used to be a prosecutor under Obama’s Attorney General Eric Holder.
In addition to being a PBWG, he has a sinister-looking beard and furrowed brows that convey seriousness. He has the power to hand down criminal indictments. Democrats desperately tried to rush the impeachment of the President before Durham could complete his work. That effort failed.
The 24/7 #NeverTrump media did not stop him. Neither the “progressive” Democrats nor RINO Republicans stopped him either. John Brennan could stop him. In fact, Brennan, James Comey, and James Clapper are now on defense. Durham would rank higher but so far only one indictment has come down.
When Barr changed Durham’s role to Special Counsel in October, that gave him staying power.
4.) Sonny Perdue —
The former Georgia Governor is now America’s Agriculture Secretary. Like many PBWGs, Secretary
Purdue’s power stems from most people not knowing what he actually does. It involves agriculture.
In a world where every little thing is objectionable, Perdue has stayed largely under the radar. Everyone likes farmers, and desiring to have food on our tables is fairly non-controversial. Purdue played a vital role in 2020 due to the COVID pandemic.
His decisive actions prevented a breakdown of the national food supply chain.
3.) Jeff Bezos —
He was previously the top PBWG as the world’s richest man and dorkiest logistics coordinator. After all, nothing inspires people, grabs headlines, and screams sex appeal like supply-chain management. Bezos fell from the top spot when he mailed pictures of his genitalia to his mistress, who shared them with a friend. The picture went viral, and Bezos’s ex-wife MacKenzie is now the world’s wealthiest woman.
Even so, Bezos is still rich enough to be on this list.
While most people were harmed by lockdowns, Bezos did very well as the CEO of Amazon. With more people at home unable to go out, there was nothing to do but shop online. Bezos hired massive numbers of new employees while other companies were downsizing. He got the packages delivered on time. Bezos also controls the Washington Post, giving Bezos significant control over the flow of information. By Seattle City Council from Seattle – https://www.flickr.com/photos/seattlecitycouncil/39074799225/, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=68400532
2.) Stephen Hahn —
The Chairman of the Food and Drug Administration is rarely in the spotlight. When the Coronavirus pandemic hit, Hahn was thrust into the public eye.
The FDA normally takes three to five years to approve a new vaccine. The president demanded that a COVID vaccine be approved in record time, and Hahn got the job done. In only eight months, vaccines were already being shipped out as part of Operation Warp Speed.
By taking a collaborative and cooperative approach with drug companies rather than a confrontational one, Hahn let the experts do their jobs. Pfizer and Moderna came through with COVID vaccines in record time. This was because they were able to spend their time on their core competency of creating new lifesaving drugs and less time on paperwork, bureaucracy, compliance, and defending lawsuits.
1.) Robert Redfield —
The Chairman of the Center for Disease Control was the key point man when the COVID epidemic first surfaced. Long before Slaoui’s Operation Warp Speed and Hahn’s FDA were on the scene, Redfield’s CDC was on the scene.
The other two men were brilliant with the solution, but first, the problem had to be diagnosed.
Redfield was confronted with a pandemic that nobody had ever seen before. He had to make sure people were concerned while simultaneously keeping people calm. It was a delicate balancing act, and it helped matters that Redfield looked like a grandfatherly fellow who looked trustworthy and reassuring. His parents were both scientists at the National Institutes of Health, so Redfield was literally born for this. He played a vital role in the 1980s when the AIDS epidemic first came on the scene.
For helping Americans navigate the public health minefield of the Coronavirus, Redfield showed leadership under fire and grace under pressure. The world has lost so many people to this awful virus, but the tide seems to be turning.
For rolling up his sleeves and epitomizing America’s can-do spirit in the toughest of times, Redfield is more than just a competent executive. He is the most Powerful Bald White Guy of 2020.