A modest proposal on ink and ammunition

No more ink! No more ammunition! No more guns!


WASHINGTON, May 20, 2015 – On May 12, Rep. Bonnie Watson Coleman introduced her landmark legislation, H.R. 2283, or, the Stop Online Ammunition Sales Act of 2015. Within in its text lie the answers to combating one cause of the out-of-control rise of violent crime in the United States, the ammunition vendors.

This bill, riddled with truths and sprinkled with good intentions, seeks to ban the sale of ammunition online and to record the sale of bulk ammunition purchases.

These provisions will go a long way toward ridding our country of criminals and “collectors” who buy thousands of rounds of ammunition to commit acts of violence all around the country.

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We all know that the fundamental tenet of a democracy is law and order, and the responsibility of the government is to provide for the people. It is then the responsibility of the people to understand and recognize the power of the government. Therefore, it is no longer necessary in the 21st century for a citizenry to be armed, for all interactions between the government and the governed are based on logic and reason, not fear.

We should trust that our government has our best interest at heart, shed the ideas of the necessity of an armed populace and join Europeans in the sunshine of enlightenment.

But I ask you this, should we stop there? Why should we stop at the reporting of bulk ammunition sales, and the banning of online purchases? Why should we confine ourselves to ammunition? If we agree that the government has our best interests at heart and that it can be trusted to govern us wisely and logically, we have no need to purchase the means by which we criticize the government.

I say that the collection of ammunition purchasing information is not enough. We must record the transactions of anyone buying ink and paper and anyone who purchases domain names or sets up blogs that could potentially publish material critical of the government.

With the need to criticize the government negated, as officials have all promised to be logical and fair and incorruptible, we should propose legislation that would limit the number of journalists who can publish material. The licenses should require training and payment for registration.

In addition, a journalist must prove that he or she has a valid need of a license before it can be approved.

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These extra measures will help us stay on path, comrades. Without the necessity to rebel, we need no weapons among the population, and without the necessity to criticize, there will be no need for journalists and the media.

Ideas, after all, are the bullets with which the ungrateful aim at the enlightened. Information and ideas are the most dangerous freedoms of all, comrades, for they distract us from the true purpose of upholding the state, and maintaining the trust that the people should have in the government.

But alas, that time has not come yet. Until those individuals who buy ink and ammunition are truly regulated, we will not have the government and the nation we truly deserve.

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Conor Higgins
Conor Higgins has a BA from Catholic University in DC and an MA form George Mason University in Fairfax, VA, both in history. When he not getting his hands dirty in 2nd Amendment and firearms news he is doing his best to take a crack at some drive-by political analysis. And every now and then he may or may not review a low end bourbon for the tax write off. Sit back, relax, and enjoy Back Porch Politics.