A John Kerry conundrum and a caviar solution

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Kerry at US-Africa meeting

MILLINOCKET, Maine, August 10, 2014 — Only a few days after calling Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu a “stubborn head,” John Kerry posed a conundrum at the U.S.-Africa Leaders Summit in DC.

He said, “8,000 children die every day” from hunger and declared that in sub-Saharan Africa, one in four people are gripped by chronic hunger. In the same speech, Kerry pointed out that developing more farmland would contribute to global climate change, and therefore should be discouraged.

Does this “diplomatic,” faux-intellectual, climate change hawker realize just how silly he sounds? A carnival barker has more credibility.

Perhaps John Kerry could redeem himself if he started the “More Caviar for the Masses” movement (eco-friendly and cruelty-free, of course.) He could become the Father of Sturgeon Husbandry, repopulating the critically endangered beluga sturgeon that swim in the Caspian and Black Seas.

The rarest and costliest caviar comes from the endangered beluga sturgeon - Wikimedia
The rarest and costliest caviar comes from the endangered beluga sturgeon – Wikimedia

His wife, Theresa Heinz-Kerry would be a natural to help him with mass production and marketing.

Together they would become an international phenomenon. John Kerry’s legacy as Secretary of State would be eclipsed by this humanitarian accomplishment.

Accolades would pour in from around the globe; the headlines would read, “Heinz-Kerry Caviar saves the world from hunger!”

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Pithanthropy the Human Conditioner by Jim Bozeman

Pithanthropy the Human Conditioner by Jim Bozeman

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