DENVER, Co., November 16, 2014 – It’s quarter to two. Closing time at the bar and you are one of the lone survivors to hold out. You’ve got your hands on that final drink your body is just screaming at you to put down. The moral dilemma that has plagued men and women for millennia since Socrates met hemlock faces you: to drink or not to drink, that is the question. Angels on your shoulders warn that last gulp will be paid for with a hangover from hell tomorrow, but you finish it anyway. After all, you’re young, invincible, and even if you aren’t … who wants to live forever, right?
We’ve all been there the morning after when a good buzz becomes a banging headache. Some call it the hangover, others call it a normal morning in the life of a twenty-something. But before you hate yourself for partying to excess, here are seven reasons why hangovers aren’t as bad as you might think:
- You have an excuse to stay in bed all day. Couldn’t sleep last night? You’re sure going to be stuck in bed now. There’s no other time it’s acceptable to stay in bed for twelve hours than the excuse of a bad hangover. Put on your comfiest pajamas and hunker down, it’s probably for the best anyways.
- Forget about your diet. You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to know that drinking in excess depletes your brain’s neurotransmitters, but one of the smartest things you can do the morning after is to eat up. When you feel like your head is going to explode and you just don’t have the courage to get out of the house, pizza is a great choice to pick yourself up. Also, recent scientific findings suggest the proteins and carbs in pizza may break down into amines which help clear your head. So go ahead, have a few extra calories – or a thousand – you got this.
- A thirteen hour marathon of Law & Order: SVU is justified. Netflix was made for hangovers. Marathon watching seasons of L&O, Gossip Girl, 24, Friends or whatever your favorite guilty pleasure TV show might be, is only acceptable when feeling the after effects of a wild night out.
- You can indulge in “the hair of the dog.” In Scotland, an old wives tale goes that a few hairs from a dog that bites you can ward away evil spirits. Some say that drinking a little bit the next day – taking “the hair of the dog” – can cure the effects of liquor spirits. If you’re feeling a little more adventurous, you can head to your favorite brunch spot and down a few Bloody Marys. Consider it taking a rain check on your hangover.
- Hangovers can be a wonderful bonding experience. If you live with your friends – that is, if you’re like 92% of the millennial population – hangovers can be a great way to spend quality time with your friends. It also helps to console you that you weren’t alone in your poor decision-making.
- Eventually you’ll feel better than you ever thought possible. A hangover can be agonizing, but when you finally do feel better, sometimes it’s just what you needed to take the edge off the pressures of modern day life, especially if you’re the kind of person who needs to decompress and take your focus off work from time to time.
- You will be reminded all day of the crazy night you had. While you may have a brutal headache, you can take solace knowing your grief is only the result of the incredible night you had earlier. The hangover is almost a reward for being so fun and embracing your twenties.
Let’s face it, modern 21st century times are so serious, grave and fraught with confusing events that are often too much to deal with at any given time. Dean Martin once said “The whole world is drunk and we’re just the cocktail of the moment. Someday soon, the world will wake up, down two aspirin with a glass of tomato juice and wonder what the hell all the fuss was about.” Everyone will one day have to bear the full political, economic and social burden of the times we are living in, but until then, an occasional release is forgivable.
Until next time millennials, cheers!
Author’s Note: Enjoy drinks responsibly. Never drink and drive, and always have a designated driver if you consume alcohol away from home. Alcohol is for responsible adults only. And remember ladies, when in doubt, just say “no.”