Advice to millionaires and gold diggers: get a prenuptial agreement

Don't let the lack of a prenuptial agreement set a trap for your money later.

SAN DIEGO, March 17, 2014 – Good news for you if you’re a gold digger looking to marry for money. Plenty of men who’ve got the bank account you’re looking for are looking for you.

Money might not buy love, but it can buy marriage. According to a study published on the dating website, eligible millionaire men prefer to marry someone who doesn’t have as much money as they do. But you can have champagne taste: these men like dating “somebody who appreciates things.”

Fifteen thousand members of the dating website for millionaires participated in the survey. Nearly 80 percent of the men seek out non-millionaire women by design.

But the women members of the website feel exactly the opposite: 86.7 percent prefer to date men who make at least as much money as they do. Women said they don’t want to “carry the whole financial burden,” that they are “not looking to take care of anybody” and would prefer a financial stable partner.

The differences in dating preferences extend to how rich men and women deal with money when they marry. Just one in five millionaire men say they would insist on a prenuptial agreement.

Rich women are exactly the opposite. Nine out of ten insist they would not get married without a prenuptial agreement.

Should a millionaire get a prenuptial agreement? Yes, without question. Whatever you believe about divorce statistics, divorce is common enough that the potential of losing a tremendous amount of money is not worth rolling the dice.

Should you get a prenuptial agreement? Most of us aren’t millionaires. In general, unless you are young and just starting your lives together with absolutely no assets, a prenuptial agreement is a wise investment.

A prenuptial agreement embodies the two critically important elements necessary for any marriage to be successful: communication and trust. This is not about “who gets what,” or being selfish. It is a sign of financial openness and trust. Without being open about your financial situation and openly discussing your individual beliefs about money, you have not achieved complete honesty and transparency with each other.

It also forces another important conversation: beliefs about money, spending and saving, and the importance you place on money regarding self-worth and security can make or break a marriage when a couple can’t agree or compromise. It is far better to hash these issues out before realizing after ten years of marriage and two children that your differences made you a poor match.

What you may decide when discussing a prenuptial agreement is less about one partner keeping more money than another, but looking ahead to who stays in the family home with the children, how the childrens’ financial needs are accounted for, what money should be set aside for taking care of elderly parents or other family members, and keeping longtime family assets such as a vacation home intact. Your prenuptial agreement operates as a contract between spouses so you can agree in advance how to handle these and any other issue you wish should divorce occur.

There are some specific circumstances where a prenuptial agreement really is a must-have:

  • People who anticipate inheriting family property, at least if they want to make sure the property, heirlooms, or money stays in the family without the need for a complex tracing back to the date of the actual inheritance.
  • People whose partners come into the marriage with extensive debt, such as college loans, at least if you want to make sure you don’t become responsible for payment after a divorce or the other spouse asks for reimbursement for payments made.
  • People who own an existing business, especially if there are other partners or family interests involved.
  • People with children from prior relationships, if you want to ensure certain assets pass to your kids upon death or divorce, or provide for a college education or other needs if they are minors.
  • People whose income with the potential of a large increase, at least if they don’t want to potentially share it with anyone in the form of support after divorce.

There are several self-help books such as those offered through Nolo Press that can help you start the conversation. It will allow you to walk into an attorney’s office with a direction and plenty of information he or she will need to draw up your agreement with ease and a minimum of expense to you.

Once you have a mutually agreeable prenuptial document, file it away and look ahead toward a long and happy life together based on trust and communication. There is no better way to ensure a successful marriage whether you have one dollar or one million in your bank account.

Myra Chack Fleischer serves as Lead Counsel for Fleischer & Ravreby in Carlsbad, California with a focus on divorce, property, custody and support, settlement agreements, mediation, asset division and family law appeals. Read more Legally Speaking in Communities Digital News. Follow Myra on Twitter: @LawyerMyra. Fleischer can be reached via Google +

Copyright © 2014 by Fleischer & Ravreby, Attorneys at Law


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