LOS ANGELES, June 21, 2016 — Father’s Day has come and gone. Dad got to enjoy the NHL and NBA Finals, but man cannot live on sports alone. Summer is upon us, so it is time to give Dad the gift that keeps on giving. Men like to look at pictures of attractive women, and it is time to reveal the names of the Top 30 Hottest Political Women of 2016.
This year’s list has been divided into the top 10 liberals, centrists and conservatives. Age is no barrier. Hot is hot. Some deserving women were left off of the list solely to give others a chance. Also, each woman must in some way be publicly active politically or she loses eligibility.
In 2012, Eva Longoria campaigned for President Obama. Since then she has stayed quiet, removing herself from contention. Shannen Doherty has a lifetime beauty award. The moment she gets back into politics, she rockets to the top because she is Shannen Doherty.
Many of the women were asked in advance if they would be offended being considered for this type of list. Even liberal nominees wondered who could possibly be so hyper-sensitive. Some upper middle-class white college girls at Brandeis can likely answer that question better.
After all, real women, and men for that matter, actually like being told they are attractive. With that, here are The Top 30 Hottest Political Women of 2016.
10) Orly Levy — Not since Tzipi Hotovely has Israel’s Likud been so lovely. Levy is a stunting addition to the Knesset.
9) Jaime Herrera Beutler — Washington State is not all liberal. Between her and Cathy McMorris Rodgers, Washington is getting lovelier with each congressional election.
8) Stephanie Hamill — This One America News Network (OANN) anchor has been named the most beautiful person on that network for two straight years.
7) Elyse Stefanik — In 2014, at the tender age of 30, this stunning New Yorker was elected to Congress.
6) Pam Bondi — The Florida Attorney General prosecutes bad guys. Her expertise has been in convicting sexual predators. Don’t mess with her.
5) Victoria Seaman — In 2014 she became the first Latina Republican elected to the Nevada State Assembly. She is now running for the State Senate. When Governor Brian Sandoval tried to use his 70% approval rating to ram through tax increases, Seaman kept her word to the voters and said no.
4) Theresa Kosmoski — Republican women run the GOP, and you do not get elected in Texas without the Texas Federation of Republican Women. As its president, Kosmoski answers to nobody, but would most likely say yes to anything that Houston Texans defender J.J. Watt requests.
3) Evelyn Sanguinetti — Along wth Rebecca Kleefisch in Wisconsin and Mary Taylor in Ohio, Illinois’s Sanguinetti is the newest incredibly hot Lieutenant Governor. Governor Bruce Rauner is trying to turn the state around. If he succeeds, he and Sanguinetti will become national figures by 2020.
2) Mercedes Schlapp — She is married to American Conservative Union (ACU) President Matt Schlapp. The ACU puts on CPAC. As for Mrs. Schlapp, most liberals who try to argue with her get one look at her and forget what they were saying.
1) Jeanette Rubio — Her husband Marco will not be president in 2016, but he has the hottest spouse of any presidential candidate. Others would disagree, but Marco is proof that when you play football, you get to marry a Miami Dolphins cheerleader. No wonder Florida Senator Marco Rubio is always smiling.
10) Robin Meade — On the Headline News Network (HLN), she is the main headline.
9) Giselle Blondet — She heads up Univision’s international morning show, “Despierta America!” Whatever language you speak, waking up to her is the way to start a beautiful day.
8) Jenna Lee — Fox News is known for having attractive, smart women. Jenna Lee is the co-host of “Happening Now.” She certainly is.
7) Megyn Kelly — She is the Fox News rock star, the total package of beauty and brains. A tough attorney, she angered Donald Trump by asking him hard questions. Hillary Clinton praised Kelly for this while simultaneously being scared to death of facing Kelly’s questions herself.
6) Kelly Evans — She is the co-anchor of “Closing Bell” on CNBC. This means that when she appears on television, bells go off. This is not surprising.
5) Ivanka Trump — While her father is the Republican presidential candidate, Ivanka has always kept her personal politics close to the vest. She is a total success in her own right, and is also her father’s closest confidante who can steer into the skid when he veers.
4) Christine Flowers — This Philadelphia columnist is of a rare political breed. As a staunch Catholic, she is an ardent social conservative. Yet she also has leanings on other issues that do not fit neatly into either major political party. Due to her obsession with the National Football League, this attorney gets frequent marriage proposals.
3) Vanja Hadzovic — This Serbia diplomat caused controversy by posing for naked pictures. By controversy, we mean she finally got Serbian men to agree about how hot she is. Besides, the whole point of becoming a diplomat is to do whatever you want without consequences.
2) Melania Knauss — Born in what is now Slovenia, she is currently married to Donald Trump. While she is known for her naked pictures, this model speaks five languages and is well-versed on issues. Her personal politics are unknown, since outside of modeling her body she is an intensely private person.
1) Hope Hicks — She is as private as it gets. As the spokeswoman for the Trump campaign, Hicks never speaks on behalf of herself. She prefers staying in the shadows. But when you are this radiant that becomes a tough challenge.
10) Alex Wagner — This former MSNBC anchor is now a senior editor at The Atlantic.
9) Julianna Goldman — Like most CBS News correspondents, she wants to be seen as non-partisan. However, her first husband worked at MSNBC. Her current husband was an associate White House Counsel under President Obama.
8) Jemele Hill — ESPN used to be about sports. Now it is seeing its ratings collapse as it forces liberal politics into its sports broadcasts. Hill has been known to employ Ronald Reagan and Adolf Hitler in the same sentence, and recently tried to use the Orlando shootings as a platform to spout off about gun control.
7) Katherine Clark — For those who are tired of congress being a bunch of old, white males, this Massachusetts Congresswoman is a major step up in the looks department over the rumpled Barney Frank.
6) Erin Schrode — Only 24 years old, she ran for Congress on an environmental platform. Although she lost in the Democrat primary, Schrode is far more effective than most millennials. She actually got up off of her couch and tried to do something.
5) Alyona Minkovski — She once headed up her own show on the Russia Today (RT) international news network. Now she is a part of the Huffington Post’s video network Huffpost Live.
4) Brooke Baldwin — Not everyone at CNN is boring. Baldwin hosts “CNN Newsroom,” bringing plenty of style to that staid, ratings-challenged network.
3) Tulsi Gabbard — This Hawaii Congresswoman supported Bernie Sanders. She resigned from the Democrat National Committee, claiming that Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz rigged the party nomination process to favor Hillary Clinton.
2) Kathleen Kane — Like the Democrats’ presumptive presidential candidate, the Pennsylvania Attorney General runs the risk of indictment on corruption charges. But she is still one of the hottest women on earth, and is newly single to boot. With the 2016 Democrat Convention being held in Philadelphia, she will have to choose among several thousand potential suitors disguised as delegates.
1) Maria Celeste Arraras — She caused a stir in one of the GOP presidential debates by asking Trump controversial immigration questions. She caused another stir on Twitter by posing in a manner that accurately reflects her loveliness. She is one hot piece of Arraras.
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