The Barack Katy Perry Obama Awards: Top 10 Bimbos of 2014

Somewhere along the line, dumbing down America and giving in to the most shallow aspects of popular culture became a pastime not only celebrated, but worshiped.

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Barack Obama / Katy Perry composite by CDN. (Images via Wikipedia)
Barack Obama / Katy Perry composite by CDN. (Images via Wikipedia)

LOS ANGELES, December 29, 2014 — At this point, it is hard to tell if President Barack Obama is the Katy Perry of politics or if Katy Perry is the Obama of the entertainment industry. Neither of them is evil, but they are both vapid. Even worse, they take pride in being vapid and are surrounded by people who celebrate them for being vapid.

Original Pajama Boy Obamacare promo went viral via Twitter and Facebook as parodies proliferated. (Image via Twitter and Facebook)
Original Pajama Boy Obamacare promo went viral via Twitter and Facebook as parodies proliferated. (Image via Twitter and Facebook)

Somewhere along the line, dumbing down America and giving in to the most shallow aspects of popular culture became a pastime not only celebrated, but worshiped. Whether celebrating a selfie-taking, golf-addicted Chief Executive, his Pajamaboy alter-ego, or the formidable phalanx of Hollywood celebrities spouting nearly daily idiocies on Facebook and Twitter, America became the Nation of Narcissista.

To catch up with this nationwide trend, we bring to America the Barack Katy Perry Obama Awards, dedicated to celebrating the top ten bimbos of 2014. To avoid encountering more than the usual number of feminists autonomically complaining for the sake of doing so, we defining being a bimbo, or bimboism, as gender-neutral. After all, there are plenty of male bimbos, too.

Note: In January, President Obama is expected to offer even more nonsense during his 2015 State of the Useless address. A couple weeks after that, Katy Perry is expected to ruin the Super Bowl with a predictably inappropriate halftime show. Both of them have been left off of this list because they are now pretty much recognized as lifetime achievers.


Until then, here are the CDN Top Ten Bimbos of 2014.

10.) Elizabeth Warren — This screaming lunatic represents the angry, hostile progressive wing of what was once the Democratic party that wants to destroy everything so they can replace it with something worse. The Massachusetts Senator would rank higher on the list. But at this point, this authentic Indian Princess has not yet declared herself anything but abrasive. To get a sense of the possibilities, picture Howard Dean and Ed Schultz having a child. Elizabeth Warren may be the angriest woman in America not working at Salon Magazine.

9.) Donald Sterling — This California bigot was caught on tape making racist remarks about black people, many of whom made him rich by playing for his team. The Clippers owner was thankfully kicked out of owning his NBA team, marking a high point in the increasingly sordid world of professional sports. In a comically related matter, the NAACP deserves a tad of ridicule for preparing to host a dinner in Sterling’s honor just before the news of his racism broke. 

8.) David Gregory — This smug former host of Meet the Press would rank higher, except nobody watched his show. He inherited a jewel of a program from the late, moderately revered Tim Russert, and insisted on injecting liberal ideology into the show. 

7.) Jen Psaki/Marie Harf —These bubbleheads get paid big chunks of American taxpayer money to speak nonsense to their hapless employers. But they even do this badly. Trying to get intelligent answers out of this perpetually spinning pair is next to impossible. Both come across as junior high school girly giggle heads. They would rank higher on this list, but get downgraded for representing the U. S. State Department, a Federal government organization where people are paid to say nothing, do nothing, and accomplish nothing.

6.) Jill Abramson/Arthur “Pinch” Sulzberger Jr. — This is another example of people being downgraded for representing an organization that does not matter, in this case the New York Times. Abramson was fired as the top editor by “Pinch” Sulzberger, a wealthy leftist obsessed with identity politics. Sulzberger made it clear that he wanted a black person as the top editor. Jason Blair was unavailable, so Sulzberger picked someone else. Next year he will probably replace that person with a gay editor to check off another box. Meanwhile, Abramson expressed shock that the liberal identity politics culture she fostered would actually devour her. 

5.) Eric Holder/Lois Lerner/John Hoskinen — Government corruption is running rampant, and these miscreants keep crying and playing the victim card. Attorney General Eric Holder says that his critics are racist. His critics respond that he is a corruptocrat who uses his power to target political opponents. Lerner still refuses to come clean on her IRS abuses, while John Koskinen, the current head of this thoroughly corrupt and politicized agency continues the Administration coverup as information slowly leaks out. 

4.) Jonathan Gruber — The chief architect behind passage of the Affordable Care Act, aka Obamacare, admitted repeatedly on video to lying about the bill to fool the CBO into scoring it as revenue-neutral. He gleefully cited “the stupidity of the American voter” and claimed that the ends justified the means. Since zero Republicans voted for the bill, the stupid people he was referring to were Obama supporters. He is an accurate stereotype of everything Americans hate about smug, liberal ivory tower academics. 

3.) Al Sharpton/Bill DeBlasio — After several conflicts between police officers and shooting “victims,” violent riots somehow spontaneously broke out across America. Problem is, these riots were as pre-planned as the Benghazi massacre and the last Palestinian Intifada. None of the rioters are Republicans or conservatives, proving that these protests are more ideological than racial. President Barack Obama and Attorney General Eric Holder laid the groundwork for what started out as a pre-2014 Election ploy, while Al Sharpton and New York Mayor Bill DeBlasio are completing the job with help from the New York Times. Sharpton and DeBlasio’s anti-police rhetoric fanned the flames that led to two NYPD officers being murdered earlier this month. 

2.) Lena Dunham/Rolling Stone Magazine — Fake rape accusations tend to be all the rage nowadays. Dunham blamed her sexual assault on a Republican named “Barry,” who she eventually conceded was just a composite through which she hoped to avoid a lawsuit after Barry was outed. Rolling Stone ran with the UVA rape story—now unmasked as a hoax—despite the fact this story was riddled with serious flaws any real reporter would have caught. Being a sexual demagogue is no better than being a racial demagogue. While Rolling Stone is irrelevant and Dunham is useless, the false charges made by both are so serious that they merit intense scrutiny.

1.) Gwyneth Paltrow/Chris Martin — Paltrow is an overrated actress who is pretty but not stunning. She complains about how tough it is to be a multi-millionaire mom to her children, while trying to earn her $20 million per movie playing make-believe as an actress. (Most working mothers do not have servants.) Paltrow worships President Obama but cannot say why. She faints in his presence.

Her soon-to-be-ex-husband seems like a nice guy, but may be the most overrated singer in the most overrated band in music in quite some time. Coldplay is known for bland, inoffensive music that makes women and metrosexuals tingle.

In truth, she deserves the award more than he does. But they win it together for inventing the obnoxious phrase “conscious uncoupling,” virtual Washingtonspeak for divorce.

After all, only common people get divorces. Celebrities deftly engineer “conscious uncouplings.” Martin subsequently took up with a 24-year old woman who told the world she wants a man willing to engage in bodily functions in front of her. Stunningly, they too broke up. Now if only they would all shut up.

Congratulations to Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, the Top Bimbos of 2014.

Curious about past award winners? Here are links to the lists from 2010, 2011, 2012 and 2013.

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  • Alicia.beritan

    This is the stupidest thing I have read all day.

  • merricanmatt

    who writes this kinda garbage?

  • stacyp

    this as terrible. katy perry is a great person and i don’t know how she fits into the category of a “lifetime achiever of being a bimbo”

    • Amadaun

      Being a Bimbo is her lifetime achievement. That’s how she fits.

  • Well done, Eric. A little humor is a good thing.

    • UnderDog8

      You’re right, Andy. A little humor is good and it just doesn’t get any littler that this. Of course, you really can’t expect more from a Neo-Nazi like Eric Golub.

  • archimedes

    “Bimbos”–implies “airheadedness.” Having never followed Dunham, I don’t if she qualifies as an airhead. Erdely at Rolling Stone is not an airhead–she deliberately perpetrated a hoax. To classify her as a bimbo underestimates her and the incalculable damage she has done to the reputations of Phi Psi brothers specifically and fraternities in general.

    • Amadaun

      Only an airhead would perpetrate a hoax that damages the already tattered rep of her own movement.

  • what a dumbo!!

    I dont know who’s this Eric Dildo, or whatever….does he even know that katy is one of the biggest popstars in the world?? that she has a huge following and is one of the few artists who can relate to or who’s music and image is appropriate to almost all ranges of age?!! and how does he know that she is gonna ruin the superbowl? she is an excellent entertainer, and her show is going to be most entertaining…just wait and watch dildo!

  • Montesquieu

    Obama is a menace to these states.