‘Organic Panic: Almost Satanic’; or, ‘A Foodie’s Lament’

A poetic riposte to Michelle Obama and her fellow scolds: those "healthy eating" Puritans who lecture folks on diet - and eat McDonalds on the sly.

A corkscrew can efficiently address most dietary concerns. (Image via Wikipedia)

My doctor says to use less salt; my daughter says “No pork!”
My neighbor swears by fish oil and my spouse chews on raw cork.

ketchup-cutThe fast food joint I patronize has burgers so organic
That when I put some ketchup on, the staff calls me satanic!

I got a water bottle for my birthday − what’s the deal?
Plain tap water is good enough − c’mon folks, let’s get real!

The break room now has apples, not a Cheeto is in sight.
A bag of M&Ms is treated like the chestnut blight.Mms-300

I want a prudent diet, but the factions are so teeming
That if I listen to them all I’ll wind up crazed and screaming.

Everything’s verboten, from vanilla to beef stew −
Like W.C. Fields, perhaps, I’ll just employ a corkscrew!

Poem inspired by an article in the Washington Post. 

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