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New Year’s Eve 2019 with Lil Jon and Senator Brian Schatz

Written By | Dec 31, 2019
Lil Jon, Brian Schatz, New Years Eve 2019

Cleanup at Times Square after New Year’s Eve revels. Image by Andrew Baron via Times Square Ball entry in Wikipedia, CC 2.0 license.

LOS ANGELES —  New Year’s Eve is a truly magical night. On this one night, many of Earth’s seven billion inhabitants temporarily cast aside religion, politics, and even sports rivalries. Peace on Earth briefly breaks out. We bid farewell to a tough year and in this case, a tough decade. We pray that the incoming new year and decade will be better, perhaps even peaceful. On this New Year’s Eve 2019, even Lil Jon and Senator Brian Schatz might agree.

We pray for peace, love, and a better world.

On January 20, America will honor the late Martin Luther King Jr. We will vow to honor his legacy of peaceful non-violent civic activism. On that exact same day, Donald J. Trump celebrates three years as President of the United States. His supporters will celebrate. Supporters of Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Liz Warren, Bernie Sanders and others will, America hopes, resist the urge to resist everything for the sake of resistance. More importantly, we pray that all resistance is peaceful. MLK is universally beloved because he believed in fighting for change peacefully.

Yet on this New Year’s Eve 2019, the hours leading into January 1 are not about the Republican Party or the Democrat Party.

It is about house parties, club parties, rooftop parties, and the party for the sake of partying parties.

This is before getting to the after-party.




We eat and drink to excess, dance badly, and upload pictures to social media that should never be uploaded.

For one night, much of the entire civilized world is a happy, peaceful, global family united in sheer joy and revelry.


Also Read: Top 10 Powerful Bald White Guys (PBWG) of the Decade 2010-2019

In Gotham City, 2020 commences, and peaceful behavior erodes.

All hell breaks loose with the dropping of the ball in Times Square. People kiss, sing, and then try to escape the freezing weather they have been standing in for the last ten hours.

In all the global celebrations welcoming the end of 2019 and the entire decade of the 2010s, nothing says New Year’s Eve like the convergence of a rap star and an unknown politico.

The rapper is a long-haired, gold-toothed entrepreneur and former Trump Celebrity Apprentice semi-finalist Lil Jon. Dave Chapelle lampooned him as the guy who only says “what” and “ok.”

Lil Jon brought the world one of the greatest party songs, “Shots.”

A celebration of alcohol and fun, plenty of shots will be consumed as the decade of 2010-2019 ticks down.

While Lil Jon’s celebrity is established, the senior United States Senator from Hawaii is still fairly early in his political career. With the passing of Senator Daniel Inouye, former Governor Hawaii Neil Abercrombie sent his second in command to Washington in 2012 as the next Senator from Hawaii.

Former Lieutenant Governor Brian Schatz then won the 2014 election to his first full Senate term.

The Senator’s name is spelled “Schatz,” although his last name is pronounced “shots.”

The U.S. Senate has long been about partying, alcohol, and law-breaking in between occasional bouts of governing.



Therefore, the upper chamber of Congress should treat Brian Schatz as a celebrity.

Let Lil Jon do the swearing-in ceremony as the Republican Party (sans Brian Schatz) and the Democrat Party continue to spend like drunken sailors at a never-ending New Year’s Eve Party.

Happy New Year Schatzie! Party time!

When I arrive on the Hill, all eyes on me.

Congressional bender, all drinks are free.

We’re drunken spenders, we’re so far gone.
It’s free money time, so come on down!

Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!

Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!

The ladies love us, when we give free stuff,

We spend your money, on needless fluff,

We’re drunk on power, how ‘bout you?
Bottoms up, let’s go round two!

Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!

Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!

If you ain’t drunk on power, get out of Congress now!

If you ain’t drunk on power, get out of the White House now!

If you ain’t drunk on power, get out of government now!

Now where are my spendaholics? Printing presses go!

Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!

And in conclusion, on this New Year’s Eve 2019…

Party hearty, Senator Schatz! Greece, California, and Detroit are only a few trillion wasted dollars away!

To everyone else, may the 2020s be a decade of peace, love, and most importantly for revelers, fun!

Also, in honor of the junior Hawaii Senator Mazie Hirono, do not hit on strangers after getting drunk. Friends don’t let friends beer-goggle. This is the Hirono rule, when a guy wakes up the next day, realizes what he has done, and yells, “Her? Oh, no!”

The clock is ticking down to zero hour on New Year’s Eve 2019.

Let’s party! What??????

Happy 2020s! Ok!!!!!!!!

— Headline image:  Cleanup at Times Square after New Year’s Eve revels. Image by Andrew Baron.
Originally via Flickr, posted under Times Square Ball entry in Wikipedia, CC 2.0 license. Image modified to fit CDN page specs.

 

Eric Golub

Brooklyn born, Long Island raised and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Read more from Eric at his TYGRRRR EXPRESS blog. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.”