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New Year’s 2018 with Lil Jon and Hawaii Senator Brian Schatz

Written By | Dec 31, 2018

LOS ANGELES:  New Year’s Eve is a truly glorious night. On this one night, most of Earth’s seven billion people temporarily cast aside politics, religion, and even sports.

Peace on earth briefly breaks out. We bid farewell to a tough year and pray that the incoming new year will be better, perhaps even peaceful.

We pray for peace, love, and a better world.

On January 21, America will honor the late Martin Luther King Jr. We will vow to honor his legacy of peaceful non-violent civic activism. One day before that, Donald J. Trump celebrates two years as President of the United States. Supporters of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton will, America hopes, resist the urge to resist everything for the sake of resistance.

Yet the hours leading into January 1 are not about the Republican Party or the Democrat Party.




It is about house parties, club parties, rooftop parties, and party for the sake of partying parties.

This is before getting to the after-party.

We eat and drink to excess, dance badly, and upload pictures to social media that should never be uploaded.

Last minute New Year’s Eve Sparkling Wine Guide

For one night, much of the entire civilized world is a happy, peaceful, global family united in sheer joy and revelry.

In Gotham City, 2019 commences, and peaceful behavior erodes

All hell breaks loose with the dropping of the ball in Times Square. People kiss, sing, and then try to escape the freezing weather they have been standing in for the last ten hours.

In all the global celebrations welcoming the end of 2018, nothing says New Year’s Eve like the convergence of a rap star and an unknown politico.

The rapper is a long-haired, gold-toothed entrepreneur and former Trump Celebrity Apprentice semi-finalist Lil Jon. Dave Chapelle lampooned him as the guy who only says “what” and “ok.”

Lil Jon brought the world one of the greatest party songs, “Shots.”

A celebration of alcohol and fun, plenty of shots will be consumed as 2018 ticks down.

While Lil Jon’s celebrity is established, the senior United States Senator from Hawaii is still fairly early in his political career. With the passing of Senator Daniel Inouye, former Governor Hawaii Neil Abercrombie sent his second in command to Washington in 2012 as the next Senator from Hawaii.

Former Lieutenant Governor Brian Schatz then won the 2014 election to his first full Senate term.

The Senator’s name is spelled “Schatz,” although his last name is pronounced “shots.”



The U.S. Senate has long been about partying, alcohol, and law-breaking in between occasional bouts of governing.

Therefore, the upper chamber of Congress should treat Schatz as a celebrity.

Let Lil Jon do the swearing-in ceremony as the Republican Party and the Democrat Party continue to spend like drunken sailors at a never-ending New Year’s Eve Party.

Happy New Year Schatzie! Party time!
“When I arrive on the Hill, all eyes on me.
In the Democrat Party, all drinks are free.
We’re drunken spenders, we’re so far gone.
It’s free money time, so come on down!
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!
The ladies love us, when we give free stuff,
From contraception to other needless fluff,
We’re drunk on power, how ‘bout you?
Bottoms up, let’s go round two
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!
If you ain’t drunk on power, get out of Congress now!
If you ain’t drunk on power, get out of the White House now!
If you ain’t drunk on power, get out of government now!
Now where are my spendaholics? Printing presses go!
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!”

Party hearty, Senator Schatz! Greece, California, and Detroit are only a few trillion wasted dollars away!

To everyone else, may 2018 be a year of peace, love, and most importantly for revelers, fun!

Also, in honor of the junior Hawaii Senator Mazie Hirono, do not hit on strangers after getting drunk. Friends don’t let friends beergoggle. This is the Hirono rule, when a guy wakes up the next day, realizes what he has done, and yells, “Her? Oh, no!”

Let’s party! What??????

Happy 2019! Ok!!!!!!!!

Eric Golub

Brooklyn born, Long Island raised and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Read more from Eric at his TYGRRRR EXPRESS blog. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.”