WASHINGTON, July 31, 2015 – If you suffer from coulrophobia, Tonopah, Nevada’s Clown Motel, should probably not be your first choice for overnight accommodations.
Coulrophobia is the fancy-schmancy medical term for “fear of clowns.”
Tonopah is an odd little place. Referring to the town’s tourist attractions, the Wall Street Journal reports: “Other oddities include the Clown Motel, where rooms decorated with clown pictures and an office festooned with 600 clown images draw the curious but creep some out. “A few people have anxiety in here with clowns, so I have to take them outside to fill out the registration,” said owner Bob Perchetti. The motel adjoins the Tonopah Cemetery, where men killed in a century-old mine fire are interred.”
So we’re talking about a motel festooned with jolly clown representations situated next to a graveyard filled with the charred remains of miners killed in a horrible accident.
We’re in Stephen King country, pardner.
The reviews of the caravansary on Yelp.com are a little strange as well.
Writes Celestia W. from Las Vegas: “The hostess was friendly, a little too much so, which raises my suspicions. Was she even a woman? Her makeup was garish and her perfume had a musty, decayed smell that overpowered the floral scent. I notice now my room has a panel that seems loose, with a hollow sound behind it. It is just large enough for someone–even someone wearing oversized floppy shoes–to easily slip inside the room while I sleep. And I feel drowsy even now, despite my worry. The tea that hostess gave me… What was in that tea? I am auto-programming my phone to post a 5-star review by morning unless I reverse the program. If you are reading this, and it contains five stars, it means I went missing and could not reset my phone upon waking. Authorities should be alerted.”
Corrina Q. of Santa Rosa, California, gave the place a full fove stars, sharing this heart-warming anecdote: “Checking in I of course bought a souvenir cup and was totally excited to always have that memory. Unfortunately I forgot it but surprisingly they mailed it to me!! That right there shows that they care about their customers.”
Of course, in the motel business you can’t please everyone. Especially those on the lookout for the spooky factor.
Deborah E. of Florence, Ky., vented her spleen this way: “We were traveling cross country and decided to try this hotel for the spooky factor. Basically, it is a dive motel. The person at the front desk was super nice. It is clean, but is very, very dated. The showers were very worn out and the toilet ran all night. The WiFi was very sporadic. On top of that, no clown ghosts haunted us! There are better places to stay in the area. I would choose those places over this one.”
If bunking with buffoons is not your cup of tea, you can always visit Tonopah for other attractions, such as the Tonopah Test Range, where the Air Force drops dummy nuclear weapons just for laughs.
And now some verse:
Clowns in Nevada (and we ain’t talking ’bout Harry Reid)
In Tonopah, Nevada, sits a motel full of clowns.
It isn’t very modern, but the staff there never frowns.
To sleep with Bozo watching you is quite a luxury.
But sit down in the lobby and the cushions all go whoopee.