WASHINGTON, June 7, 2017 – Washingtonians of a certain age (New Yorkers, too) remember that immortal line most likely invented by hyperactive sportscaster Warner Wolfe: “Let’s go to the videotape!” A translation for today’s millennials might be something like “Let’s go to the streaming video!”
Whatever the case, while we still punch this stuff out on computer keyboards, we try to bring you the latest and greatest news stories, fake news stories and other journalistic idiocy as close to real time as we can get. Here are some partial scores:
Hillary gets religion
Hillary Clinton has been continuing on her nonstop 2017 Pity Party Tour, blaming pretty much everyone and everything in the known universe except herself for her well-deserved defeat in Election 2016. The funniest thing we’ve seen so far is this recent story, put together oddly enough from those jolly, Hillary-worshiping left wingnuts at Politico. Hill has apparently re-discovered God and religion (again) depending on what the meaning of religion is. Hope this latest “New Hillary” edition isn’t turning into another one of Obama’s Deplorable Bitter Clingers.
Reality Bites Reality Winner
More unbelievable stuff from our “intelligence” services, which these days seem anything but intelligent. Jon Swaine, reporting from another reliably leftist British house organ, The Guardian, dishes on the latest Commie troll to betray our country, the bizarrely named Reality Winner. (Sounds like the stage name of an old time burlesque star.)
According to Swaine, Reality is a 25-year old “Air Force linguist.” She never went to college but learned the invaluable languages/dialects of Pashto, Farsi and Dari, which got her stationed in Afghanistan doing her linguist thing for the Air Force, copping a massively coveted and massively marketable Top Secret Clearance in the process.
Fast forward to earlier this year. In February, after her tour and her service were over, she took a job as a Federal contractor that required a Top Secret clearance, at which point, apparently, this open Marxist hatemonger and Bernie supporter helped herself to some ultra secret NSA stuff she attempted to pass on to, you guessed it, the Rushkies. Here’s Swaine’s tweet on the topic:
— The Smoking Gun (@tsgnews) June 5, 2017
Unfortunately, reality bites. As a result, Reality was instantly nabbed by the Feds, which, among other things, got the Washington rumor mill buzzing, which isn’t difficult to do these days if you say the magic word “Russia.”
More: Reality may not be the sharpest traitor in the room as This Daily Caller anecdote suggests:
“The woman charged by the Department of Justice with stealing ‘Top Secret’ information from the National Security Agency apparently believes being white is a form of terrorism.
“That’s according to a tweet the alleged leaker, Reality Winner, sent in February. Winner, who is herself white, tweeted at rapper Kanye West that he should make a shirt declaring whiteness an act of terror.
“@kanyewest you should make a shirt that says, ‘being white is terrorism’, she tweeted.”
Conservative Treehouse piles on, connecting Reality to #BLM.
“A review of Ms. Winner’s social media and on-line presence shows her ideology is rabidly anti-President Trump. She is a vocal advocate for Black Lives Matter and various left-wing organizations. Her social media is that of a typically well-indoctrinated leftist. TWITTER HERE and FACEBOOK HERE. Customary vulgarity, promotion of beatnik anarchy, etc.”
To make things even weirder, some sites are speculating that the whole incident seems so artificially manufactured as to by some kind of exercise by Obama plants or Deep State Benedict Arnolds that the stolen NSA document (involving Russia, of course), could have been a plant and/or Reality might actually be playing for the anti-Trump coup-plotting team.
In Washington, these days, you never know. This story is almost too good to be true and Reality appears almost too dumb to be that dumb. We may or may not see this one play out over time, depending on how much the anti-Trump propaganda the media can milk out of it. Fake news? We report, you decide.
¡Cuba, Sí! Yanquis no!
Not too long before he left office (if indeed he actually did), Barack Obama grandly broke with over 50 years of American foreign policy and commenced to thaw U.S. relations with our friends, the Castro Bros, in the People’s Paradise just south of Florida that’s commonly known as Cuba. The idea was that with our renewed friendship, Cuba would magically become less oppressive and more lovable.
Unfortunately, there’s this report from Breitbart, indicating the U.S. may have a long wait for the ultimate kumbaya moment with Cuba:
“The Cuban regime has placed an anti-communist, pro-American protester in one of the nation’s most notorious mental institutions following his interruption of the annual May Day parade, where he ran down the parade route waving an American flag.”
Sacrilege! But hey, it’s Cuba, this guy was out of line, right? Imagine what would happen here if we started putting all those Marx-loving, Soros-paid “anarchists” and other violent “NeverTrumpers” in the nuthouse, as appealing as that notion currently may be.
Brietbart is just chock-full of good stuff this week. While we’re on the subject of left wing violence and oppression, let’s take a look at Breitbart’s latest tally of murders, mayhem and maiming by representatives of the Religion of Peace that will go unnamed here.
“The estimated 815 deaths and 870 injuries across about 15 countries during the first 12 days of this year’s holy Muslim month of Ramadan have already marked the bloodiest Ramadan in recent years for adherents of Islam.”
Click this link for the full story and the complete list, and remember it well the next time some condescending European Chamberlain tells us not to offend these people. This one is actually not very funny at all.
Count – But Don’t Cuddle – Your Chickens
But let the skies brighten! Our final news item today comes from our downtown DC media friends at the WaPo, aka, The Washington ComPost as some conservative sites (and Mark Levin) like to describe this once respectable fake newspaper.
Today’s Posties specialize either in fake news backed up by anonymous “sources,” or news that, while perhaps factual, is just plain dumb. As demonstrated by the following scare headline:
“And remember: Even the fluffiest, most huggable chickens can be regular disease traffickers.”
Be afraid. Be VERY afraid!
The funniest thing about this fluffy story is the fact that 99.9 percent of the Post’s readership has never condescended to touch a live chicken and never will. This kind of dangerous and scary encounter is only for those mouth-breathing farmers and other Deplorables that don’t live on our more enlightened coasts.
That’s it for now. Remember: We can’t make this stuff up.