WASHINGTON, February 14, 2018: Should we ban Valentine’s Day? Wondering just how far today’s “safe spaces” crusaders were willing to go to impose institutional puritanism on America’s college campuses, “Campus Reform went undercover at Cornell University, armed with a fictitious petition to ban Valentine’s Day, on the grounds that it was simply too offensive to students without a romantic partner.”
We can all guess what happened next, as Cornell’s super-genius snowflakes danced their collective brains – or lack thereof – on the head of a pin. “As an Ivy League university,” a related article in The Lid explains,
“Cornell is most famous for its liberal-leaning professors and students committing suicides by jumping off the Thurston Avenue bridge. The university’s students are part of the liberal everybody gets a trophy, no one loses, hide in safe spaces generation that has never learned how to think for itself because they have been spoon-fed since birth. And what they have been spoon-fed is liberalism.”
Hence, Campus Reform’s puckish operatives dispersed around Cornell’s picturesque campus in upstate New York to buttonhole random students. They asked “the snowflakes to sign a petition” urging the university to ban Valentine’s Day.
Piece of cake.
According to the current Campus Reform “Ban Valentine’s Day” story,
“It quickly became clear that students at Cornell were more than willing to go along with any measure that would supposedly make their campus a more inclusive space.
“‘That’s a really nice petition,’ said one student, while another admitted ‘I’m in a relationship, but I totally understand.’
“One student condemned the school’s handling of the holiday in the past, saying ‘I would also point out the administration is really heteronormative about [Valentine’s Day] which is kinda f***** up.’
“One student went so far as to ask for our contact information so they [sic] could share the fabricated petition online to gain more supporters.”
As we’ve observed many times before, the Decline of the West continues apace, as millennials continue unquestioningly to accept the liberal indoctrination that passes today for a costly college education.
That said, it’s still pretty funny to see how ridiculously easy it is to prank today’s credulous snowflakes, particularly when offering them another opportunity for costless virtue signaling, as the following YouTube video from Campus Reform illustrates
O brave new world that has such people in it!
As for all you retrograde heteronormatives out there: Happy Valentine’s Day from this heteronormative columnist to both you and your heteronormative sweethearts!