Stephen King: Willing victim of bloodsucking monster

King backs Maine state tax, despite Florida enclave


WASHINGTON, March 24, 2015 — Horror author Stephen King loves monsters. The malevolent figures of his imagination have brought him fame and fortune. King’s fictional Kurt Barlow, the Austrian vampire of Salem’s Lot, comes to America because, “In other lands, when a man eats to his fullest day after day, that man becomes fat… sleepy… piggish. But in this land… it seems the more you have, the more aggressive you become.”

Barlow moves to small-town America to literally suck the blood from its greedy, over-consuming, corrupt inhabitants. Barlow arrogantly sees himself as a conduit for social justice in a greedy America. And with one bite, Barlow can kill or enslave his victims for eternity.

Barlow is the ultimate, bloodsucking community organizer.

However, Stephen King is no Kurt Barlow. He’s much closer in temperament to his misfit creation Carrie White, famous for her adolescent, blood red tantrums.

King is all worked up over the suggestion by Maine’s tea party Gov. Paul LePage that the state eliminate its income tax to spur economic growth. In a radio address, LePage taunted former Gov. Ken Curtis for introducing Maine’s income tax in the late 1960s (passed into law by a squishy moderate Republican legislature).

“Well, today former Governor Ken Curtis lives in Florida, where there is zero income tax,” said LePage. What angered King was LePage’s incorrect assertion that he also fled Maine to live tax free at his palatial Casey Key, Fla., beach house.

Basically, King is fuming that LePage gave him too much credit for smarts.

“In 2013, my wife and I paid approximately 1.4 million [dollars] in state taxes,” said King in an email to the Portland Herald. “We consider this a very fair price for living in the most beautiful state in America.”

It’s almost certain King wrote his angry missives while sitting on the veranda of his Florida home, cooled by a tropical breeze on a warm winter’s day.

According to the Bangor Daily News, last February saw record temperature drops, with Portland, Maine, setting a record from “most consecutive days with temperatures below freezing and below 10 degrees Fahrenheit, and a top-five period for consecutive days with temperatures at or below zero.”

Stephen King is more than willing to seek refuge from Maine’s harsh winters by fleeing to Florida, but refuses to escape the black-caped, bloodsucking, confiscatory monster known as the state tax collector.

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  • Luigi Proud DemoCat!

    What the H are you talking about?

    Liar LePage told lies about Stephen King. Liar LePage refuses to apologize because Liar LePage has no integrity or character. Stephen King is not the issue. Liar LePage is the issue. It has nothing to do with being for or against the state income tax. Liar LePage’s cowardly attempt to rewrite history by removing his lies about Stephen King is too little, too late, and not an apology. That’s because in addition to having no character or integrity, Liar LePage is a coward.

    Got it? Or,do I need to explain it to you again?

    • JimfromCTown

      What he is saying is that King could legally avoid an additional $1,4 million in taxes by simply remaining in his Florida home for 184 days a year. It is all but certain that he spends months there already. Not doing so is financially unsound.

  • Jed Eckert

    Contrary to the science-fiction conjured up by climate fortune-tellers like Al Gore, recent climate data indicates an upcoming period of global cooling.