Law and Disorder on Legal Question and Answer forums

The segment of individuals seeking legal advice online includes more than a few who aren't the sharpest tools in the shed.

Putting out some fires. (Image via Pixabay, CC 0.0)

WASHINGTON, February 26, 2017 — Everyone wants the legal answers to their questions. Many resort to online legal forums where the public, and occasionally lawyers, provide responses. For those who lack a working legal knowledge or just plain common sense, the answers available from these sources can provide direction, and often, sharp humor as well.

What follows are selected quotes and some summaries of the better inquiries recently discovered on various Internet-based legal question and answer forums, generally presented as written.

Question: Our family of 4 was on a flight on Turkish Airlines and we ordered 4 coca-cola drinks. My 7 year old child was served red wine. The airline denied it. Should we sue?

Answer: Sue for what? What damage can you prove? I was served a cheeseburger instead of the whopper I ordered once. My claim for 9 million dollars in damages didn’t hold up in court.

Question: My daughter has been renting a property for 3 years from a woman who makes herself completely unavailable when anything goes wrong. (Then, there are five long paragraphs of details of things mostly trivial). What should she do?

Answer: I’m not going to dig through that gigantic block of text and neither will anyone else. Suffice it to say if your daughter isn’t happy, she should move.

Question: I was at a local pet store after hearing others speak about their deceptive answers to questions, like where the pets come from. I asked about a specific pup and the manager said “a reputable breeder” but wouldn’t tell me more. Can they do this?

Answer: Yes. You stop it by not buying from there. Go rescue a pet from the pound.

Question: Long one about billing date cycles for a cell phone company, finding “little time” to write the check and send it in and concern about being late, and wanting to know if there is a law giving consumers 30 days to pay…

Answer: No law. Pay online. And you know your bill is going to be about the same every month, so send a check for the approximate amount so it gets there on time.

Question: I have a 2-part maybe 3-part case and typing it will not explain anything. I need to actually speak to someone please.

Answer: Surprise, there were no answers. Also, the questioner did not supply a telephone number.

Question: I was walking in my kitchen when my foot went through the floor. I went to the ER and have been told I need to be on crutches. What do I do now?

Answer: Use the crutches.

Question: My wheelchair doesn’t go fast enough. Do I have a claim and what can I do?

Answer: Go downhill.

Answer #2: WD-40.

Question: Me and my wife live in California and I was driving when I hit and killed a squirrel. I didn’t stop at this crime scene. Am I in trouble?

Answer: Only if the squirrel police had a camera and got your license plate.

Question: I am 11 weeks pregnant. I’ve only gained one pound so far. How much weight should I have gained? Any advice?

Answer: Go to a medical forum.

Question: Is it illegal to call someone a bitch on this website?

Answer: Not unless it is a threat. It’s also not illegal to ban you without notice. Forever.

Question: I once had a GTO back in Maryland and it was louder than the normal car. The lady across the street would complain about everything and everyone in the area. She called the police on me and nothing happened. The lady ended up moving because she didn’t get along with the guy with the motorcycle that lived next to me. We would wait for her to come outside and just torment her for an entire summer.

No question asked.

Answer: You and your motorcycle neighbor are the kind of low life scumbags that give the human race a bad name.

Question: Are posts and things always said on here by everyone 100% confidential?

Answer: Yes, things you post in public are kept in strict confidence only with members of the public and no one else.

Question: I hope this is not lying. There was a place I had to be and was almost a half hour late due to some errands I had to help my friend out with. Wouldn’t that be considered an emergency in a sense? If I was asked I’d say it was. I told my parent that an emergency is dropping a friend off at night but would this be similar in a sense? He had no other ride.

Answer: If you tell a lie, it’s a lie.

Finally, a question from a caller to this author:

Question: I got into an accident. I broke my arm. It was the deer that jumped out into the road. Who can I sue?

Answer: I don’t think there is deer insurance. Different answer if it was an elephant that jumped out.


Paul A. Samakow is an attorney licensed in Maryland and Virginia, and has been practicing since 1980.  He represents injury victims and routinely battles insurance companies and big businesses that will not accept full responsibility for the harms and losses they cause. He can be reached at any time by calling 1-866-SAMAKOW (1-866-726-2569), via email, or through his website

His book “The 8 Critical Things Your Auto Accident Attorney Won’t Tell You” can be instantly downloaded, for free, on his website:

Samakow has now also started a small business consulting firm. His new book “Step By Step, Achieve Small Business Success” is available at

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