Create homophily in your life, a ‘tribe’ that mirrors you

Those that are successful, have satisfaction in their lives, all share a common trait: Because of their drive and initiative, they receive many blessings in return.

Image used with permission from Beautiful Evolutions Photography (
Image used with permission from Beautiful Evolutions Photography (

FORT WORTH, Texas, June 1, 2016 — Humans are naturally tribalGroups of people working together tend to achieve more than single individuals when it comes to making a large impact or statement.

Sadly, only a small percentage of the population is satisfied with where they are in life, but they share something: These people are the ones who step out of their comfort zone, take risks and make a difference in the world.

Because of their drive and initiative, they receive many blessings in return.

When choosing whom to surround yourself with, choose wisely. The people you spend the majority of your time with ought to inspire you and encourage you. Investing the limited time you have with people who whine, focus on what they don’t have and constantly complain about what they are owed by the world, without ever taking responsibility for their own life situations, is simply a waste of valuable time.

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Evaluate those surrounding you. Pay attention to their mindset and the words they choose.

  • Are they focused on the good in their life?
  • Are they asking quality questions and having conversations that offer creative solutions to challenges?
  • Do they choose to continue to expand their knowledge base daily, or was the last book they opened in high school 20 years earlier?

This applies to in-person and online relationships. What people post on Facebook, tweet on Twitter and share on Instagram all tell a story of a person’s state of mind. Be protective of your mindset in both situations.


There is no law that states you must allow yourself to remain connected to a negative person. You only have one life to live, and you get to choose how you live and with whom you share your time.

A great way to explore what type of people you are sharing time with is to take out your phone and write down on a piece of paper the names of the five to 10 people you communicated with most frequently over the past week. Now for each of these people, write down three to five adjectives that you feel describe them.

For example:

  • Jane: kind, caring, funny, creative.
  • Allison: cranky, serious, self-centered, dull

Once you have completed this for all of the people you listed, put the list aside and take out a clean piece of paper. Next, list all the qualities you enjoy in people.

For example:

  • Fun, caring, ambitious, inspiring, grateful, active, outdoorsy, likes to read

Write down a minimum of 10 qualities. With the list of your enjoyable qualities in hand, review the list of qualities in your most frequently contacted friends. Circle the names of the friends whose adjectives match those on your list.

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After completing this, read over your friends list and see if there is anyone on your friends list who does not have any of the qualities you enjoy in people you share time with.

If there is, ask yourself why you are in frequent communication with this person.

Perhaps this is a client or a supervisor in a work environment. If this is the case, you’ll want to focus on finding a positive quality in the individual so that the relationship grows in a positive manner.

If the relationship is for a social reason, you may choose to re-evaluate things and determine if you can find a quality in the person you enjoy; if you can’t, ask yourself again why you are allowing this person to be in your daily life.

Being part of a tribe of positive people who uplift and encourage each other is a blessing in life that many don’t always give themselves. Give yourself permission to be in a healthy and enjoyable environment as you walk out your journey. You only have one life to live. Live it to the fullest and choose wisely those you invite to live it with you.

Leave a comment below and be sure to read more of Caryn’s work at Coffee and Coaching with Caryn in the Communities Digital News and EmbracingMyJourney.

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