Chinese markets, pain relief and danger everywhere—in verse

Two if by Tim. Our poet lariat takes on China's manipulated stock exchanges (like Shanghai) and the FDA's most recent take on Nsaids, aka Death By Pain Relief. As always, laughter is the best medicine.

Chinese retail convention.
Chinese retail convention. (CBME-China)

WASHINGTON, July 16, 2015 — On Killer Painkillers: A Lament

“The Food and Drug Administration warned last week that the risk of heart attack and stroke from widely used painkillers that include Motrin IB, Aleve and Celebrex but not aspirin was greater than it previously had said. But what does that mean for people who take them?

“Experts said that the warning reflected the gathering evidence that there was risk even in small amounts of the drug, so-called nonaspirin, nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs, or Nsaids, and that everyone taking them should use them sparingly for brief periods. Millions of Americans take them.”

−from a story in the New York Times 

No matter what the medicine I take, there seems to be
a risk of heart attack in such a very high degree.
I wish I had a dollar every time an expert spoke,
warning me my medicine would soon give me a stroke.
The side effects of all the pills I take would seem to hint
that I’d be better off if I ingested tufts of lint!


Chinese Markets a Bit Like Chinese Checkers

Investing in the Chinese market takes a robust faith
that all your money will not vanish like some airy wraith.
For while that country’s thriving in most sectors, there’s a chance
you’ll lose not just your shirt but also shoes and socks and pants.
I wouldn’t say the bubble’s burst, but prudence is advised
before you pony up on bargains Shanghai’s advertised.
The government in Beijing may ship millions to their aid,
but folks who have invested are beginning to look frayed.

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