LOS ANGELES — February 27, 2011 — Water is wet, and the United Nations fails.
The useless bastion of worthlessness, anti-Americanism and anti-Semitism known as the United Nations (UN) has decided to stop doing nothing and start looking busy.
Libyan strongman Moammar Ghadafi has shown that he is willing to kill his own people in order to maintain his weakening grip on power. In an attempt to prevent genocide, the United Nations has decided to look like they have the ability and inclination to prevent it by doing “something.”
Given the UN’s spectacular track record from Rwanda to Bosnia for doing “something,” it is not surprising that Ghadafi would take 14 year old Libyan boys and subject them to forced 56th trimester abortions. Why wouldn’t he?
What would the UN do to stop his atrocities? What would that “something” be?
Send little Moammar to bed without supper?
President Obama took a brave stand by curling up in a fetal position and sticking to what he knows, which is community organizing. Despite the fact that none of the Republicans in Wisconsin resorted to bullets to pass their bills, Mr. Obama declared them guilty of an “assault” on the Unions.
Regarding the real assaults by Ghadafi against his own citizens, Mr. Obama, has been less vocal. White House spokesperson Jay Carney stated “The people of Libya have expressed that Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi’s continued use of “deadly violence” is unacceptable,”
This is code for an involuntary reflexive muscle gesture known as shoulder shrugging.
Those determined to declare Mr. Obama right about everything spouted gibberish about how a tough stand risks endangering Americans in Libya.
What the heck are Americans doing in Libya? Was Cancun out of hotel rooms? If Ghadafi dared to start firing on Americans, even Barack Obama would have to retaliate; going Jimmy Carter impotent would hurt him in 2012.
However, if Mr. Obama represents individual inertia, the UN is an entire club of eunuchs who long ago failed to go to their medical practitioners to have “a pair” transplanted onto their decrepit (redacted).
In an attempt to get Ghadafi Duck to stop using tactics that only Saddam Hussein or a Chicago Mayor could love, the UN decided to metaphorically send Ghadafi to bed without supper. They then compromised and gave him supper, but not dessert.
Then the UN decided to be flexible and give him dessert but not read him a bedtime story until they decided to stop being cruel and give him a bedtime story but not kiss him on the forehead goodnight.
(I would not kiss that forehead…blecchhhh.)
What the UN, did, and not metaphorically, was discuss kicking Libya off of the Human Rights Council, which certainly persuaded Ghadafi to stop murdering his own people, if by “persuaded” one means, “had no effect whatsoever.”
Then the Obama administration, working (“working” no longer defined as actually doing anything) in conjunction with the UN, decided to issue sanctions against Libya.
Sanctions? Again with the sanctions? Which sanctions were these? Tough sanctions, sanctions with bite, meaningful sanctions, or sanctions that send a message?
Was Obama crystal clear, perfectly clear, or absolutely clear?
One of those “sanctions with bite” is supposedly the “freezing” of Ghadafi’s international accounts. This is nonsense. Freezing his accounts is like American politicians freezing spending. It clearly means nothing because we can only freeze the accounts that we know about. We can be as certain that he does not have other secret slush funds as we are that Yasser Arafat and past New Jersey governors didn’t.
We cannot think that Ghadafi has anything but plenty of money for himself and all we are doing is freezing money that actually had a chance of going to the very Libyan people the UN does not even claim to care about.
More sanctions? We are also placing restrictions on his air travel. We are banning him from leaving Libya.
Isn’t the whole crux of the problem that he refuses to leave Libya?
My dad used to send me to my room. It had no effect. Then he came in and physically carried the television set out of my room. Let’s just say my grades improved rapidly. Taking a child’s television is the equivalent of nuclear carpet-bombing.
So Ghadafi is determined to stay in Libya for the rest of his life and the UN sanctions him by “sending him to his room.” Libya may have some poor areas, but Ghadafi does not live in the bad neighborhoods.
This is like banning the UN members from leaving their five star hotels in Manhattan.
Where are they going to go, the Bronx?
Babbling about sanctions is meaningless prattle that only a State Department bureaucrat could love. They need to defog their glasses at Foggy Bottom.
Until then, it is comforting to know that the UN decided to rethink their approach and stop being so aggressive. They will kiss Ghadafi on his forehead, but they will not pull his pants down and (redacted) him.
Actually they will, but some things are so disgusting that only people as filthy and vile as UN diplomats would even publicly discuss it.
Brooklyn born, Long Island raised and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Read more from Eric at his TYGRRRR EXPRESS blog. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.” Eric is 100% alcohol, tobacco, drug, and liberalism free. After years of dating liberals, he has finally seen the light and now only dates Republican Jewish women. His family is pleased over this. Republican, Jewish women, you may contact Eric above.
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