LOS ANGELES, February 15, 2011 — Just give the boy king his coronation again and be done with it.
Election 2012 is now over.
Without a single primary or caucus being held, yesterday Barack Obama quietly won his re-election.
With no fanfare, he adopted the winning 1996 Clinton strategy that will be the theme of his entire second term. His new quiet motto is “Do nothing.” “Hope” and “change” will now give way to contentment and status quo.
“Yes, we can” will be explained as “Yes, we did,” evidence be d@mned.
The decision to do nothing is a brilliant strategy. Leaders get rewarded in the history books when bold gambles work out well. Barack Obama is as timid and risk averse as it gets. He is bold only on the three things he cares about: health care, education, and the environment/energy.
Everything else is platitudes: He says nothing and offends no one. The only message is that he wants to win re-election in 2012.
In his 2011 State of the Useless address, Obama piously declared, “We do big things.” We American citizens do big things. Mr. Obama, beyond his three priorities, is the epitome of minimalism and the master of small ball.
He makes Bill Clinton look imaginative.
The essence of Obama’s do nothing strategy is his budget, which makes not a single effort to resolve a difficult problem. This puts the Republicans in a box.
If Republicans try to see his nothing and raise with nothing, they will lose. Unlike liberals willing to accept that Obama is blocked from further advancement, conservative voters want their leaders to actually do something.
Mr. Obama believes he can repeat the Bill Clinton strategy of pillorying Republicans for actually doing things.
Remember 1995? Attempts to slow the rate of growth of Medicare were labeled as “cuts” that were “extremist,” “draconian,” and “mean-spirited.” Republicans wanted to starve children, throw old people on the street, and kill Big Bird.
The fact that Big Bird is a fictional television character and not a real animal is irrelevant. Gingrich tried to kill him and eat him until Clinton pardoned Snuffalupaguses’s friend.
Liberals blather about Clinton and “the largest peace time expansion in history,” but ask them to name one thing Clinton actually did in his last six years in office and there is no response.
Why? Clinton did nothing. He got lucky. The internet revolution came along and everybody made easy money.
Jimmy Carter was overwhelmed by domestic policy, but what did him in was bad luck. The hostage situation in Iran was not one where doing nothing would work.
Barack Obama is a political animal who clearly understands all of this going into 2012. He is unwilling to roll the dice on action unless they are loaded.
He has an even money shot that the economy will rebound. He will have the media on his side. They are criticizing him now because no GOP candidate ripe for demonizing exists.
Once the Republicans have a face for their party, the press will go back to kissing Obama’s feet and savoring the taste.
President Obama will have one billion dollars. Try keeping up with that on the GOP side.
Barack Obama will have the social media team on his side, as the first Facebook President still holds a wide advantage technologically.
Yet the key to everything for Obama is to do nothing. The GOP will make the hard choices, and they will suffer for it brutally. George W. Bush was never the same after he showed political courage by taking on Social Security reform.
The Democrats will be offering cotton candy and the Republicans will be offering Castor Oil. The fact that Paul Ryan is a sober adult who everybody should listen to is meaningless. Gingrich learned the hard way what happens when even a powerful congressman takes on a sitting president.
Mr. Obama is prepared to do nothing because he is good at it. Egypt? He is still watching. Iran? The mullahs crack down while he stays silent. Budget cuts? No, he would rather issue a freeze at the already exorbitant levels he enacted. A freeze is the epitome of doing nothing.
His claim that the budget needs a “scalpel” and not a “machete” is nonsense. It is time to break out the machetes. Forget 2008 levels. We should cut back to 2006 levels, before the Pelosiraptor took over and put the entire nation on her Bloomingdales credit card (with help from spineless Republicans who were rewarded by being castigated and fired).
Those who think that the electorate is different now are delusional. Everybody wants spending cuts to affect everybody else. The entire Democratic Party has been taken over by beggars sucking the life out of the productive people creating jobs. All Mr. Obama needs is some of the middle of the electorate. An improved economy will do it. Republicans will get zero credit for fixing the economy the same way they got zero credit for dragging Mr. Clinton kicking and screaming in the 1990s to fiscal discipline.
As for why Mr. Obama would want a job where he does nothing, he is less interested in being President than in being a combination of Prime Minister and Ambassador. He shines when giving people the Medal of Freedom. He is a master at ribbon cutting ceremonies. Not since the Queen of England has somebody built an entire cottage industry out of waving hello.
Unless Republicans for once in their pathetic lives learn the art of public relations, being and doing right will again be nothing before incorrect perceptions.
Like Mr. Clinton, the history books will probably one day decree Mr. Obama irrelevant. This does nothing to help the GOP in 2012. They will have a nightmarish time trying to criticize a president for things he does when the electorate decides that he does nothing and does it well.
Barack Obama is an empty suit, but he wears it flawlessly. His shirt and necktie are crisp, and his smile is as perfect as ever. He only needs to fool 50.1% of Americans in twelve large blue states one more time.
Get ready for six years of nothing. At least we will defeat Biden in 2016. He can’t even do nothing right. Sadly for conservatives, Mr. Obama can.
Brooklyn born, Long Island raised and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Read more from Eric at his TYGRRRR EXPRESS blog. Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.” Eric is 100% alcohol, tobacco, drug, and liberalism free. After years of dating liberals, he has finally seen the light and now only dates Republican Jewish women. His family is pleased over this. Republican, Jewish women, you may contact Eric above.
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